1 yr younger + 1 yr poly + 1 yr repeating sem

= 3 yrs later than my batch of guys to go army

= he'll be going in after i graduate

= working gf army bf?

how is it going to work out.

my pathetic math skills only realised NOW.

depressed.

mayb thats y they were put together for awhile.

counting it, they'd be perfect. bloody 1989 retainees.

:'(

HELLO

i feel guilty not updatin a shit when all e NUS ppl who still havetheir exams are updating, namely my dearest sisters tan. btw i miss you guys. even more than i miss franny baby. whom i also miss alot cos he is totally retarded and army isnt helping one bit. haha

im suffering from post exam depression (at this point of time. i am sure nus and smu ppl wana kill me) the suddenly lack o mugging is making me moody and im feelin pretty empty thou my schedule's full and ive something to really look forward to everyday till about a week + from now. didi says this is a typical mel reaction to after exams, happened after e Os an As too! only i didnt know.haha how silly of me really. i even went to e lib to get some story books but it doesnt work! thinking of starting next sem's studying =/ haha

today, i went to vivo with ezen and cheemin. our beloved xiangting, taking her royal time, was 2 hours late!!! its okay. royalty ma!! haha we shoped and kept eating and sat around watching the sea (so they say), watching construction work (mel thinks). sat ther listenin to music and havin e wind blow against us till e sunset =) then we went to play POOL. omg damn lousy ezen n chee vs mel n xt. first to winning 3 games! haha omg. they won 3-2 BUT! 2 outta 3 of their wins were CHEAPSKATE (i dont mean to insult u small). they only won cos xt popped e black, twice. CHEH. so technically, e girls won=) what kinda guys lose girls in pool!? haha

okay my life is so boring i've nothing much to say now. haha i wana watch nice dramas. any recommendations? haha i dont want winter sonata/stairway to heaven type please. thoese bore e shit outta me. i rememebr in sec 1.. me n phoebe attempted winterS. we BOTH fell asleep in e first episode, until her mom came back hours later to find to sleeping pigs and a runnin dvd player =/ haha

u know, even though i basically can start talking and chatting with practically anyone. there are a select few (extremely extremely few), i just cannot clique really well with. meaning we like each other perfectly fine, no bad feelings and all. but words just dont flow..usually it doesnt matter to me at all.no biggie u see. i gel with at least a hundred for each of them there are. BUT. its quite a pity. that ____ happens to be one of them. it suddenly dawned up me. how we can start talkin, but hardly much. it alwys pauses and ends. really it does. its such a pity. could be cos its something ive wanted for so many years. now that i have the chance im speechless (mel speechless? ok mayb not.) but still. i find myself trying again and again to make it start another day. mapping out plans and all that nonsense. i've realised i have to try to not think about _____ and how much he charms me. cos its nothing more than a fantasy thats too far away. its just not happening, like fetch (mean girl?). like how ive stopped using juzadream. this is just a dream. its just a dream. he's just a dream. and i've woken up. its time to delete the tab to his friendster in my favourites. time to have one last cry and let it go. ive never smiled and felt the way he made me feel, even years after. but it really is just my wishful thinking. and mel is not used to not getting what she wants. goodbye fantasy. really.

hello!

i should be studying. i know i should. this is why i didnt want to come home!

haha its 6.50pm. and i just woke up. hahahaha im a pig right. i swear its e air con and e soft everything! it does things to youu! and now there's no more sunlight and im moody. i swear im retarded haha. but i want my sunlight

exams have gone really well so far. ive never really felt this good after half my exam before. BUT e pessimistic part o me says that everyone prob thought it was easy TOO. so if they all do damn well. by the norm, i will be PUSHED to e bottom of the friggin bell and get B :'( i donttt wannntttt a BBBBBBBBB.

been feeling kinda odd recently. like not really talking much with the girls/guys i used to talk to alot or hang out with alot due to e exam things. all smses i get now are like
"mel! how were ur exams?!"
"mel! mug together?"
i suppose its a MUST for now but i just miss everyone.

was having a more serious conversation with muddy. in case anyone wonders its NOT going to be anything but pure pure friendship w muddy. ahaha and we were talkin about whether a platonic relationship between friends is possible. i think so. and i would like it to be so with quite a few others. dont do something stupid. dont try anything dumb. i like the friend friend relationship we have now. let it remain this way.

OMG OMG OMG SMINT IS COMING HOME IN 30min! i so cannot wait. SMINT I KNOW U READ THIS. i have been looking forward ALL day. even though i was asleep! i announced ur arriving to didi liike a million tiemss. ahhh i miss you! WOOHOO~ yayyy~ haha

hellO!

i've e new phonee. yay =D my daddy's really e bestest daddy in e world! he came home from brunei and bought me a dive computer cos he's so damn worried i'll hurt myself during the dive trip with the school next year. hah after that we went to buy a new phone for me =) wanted the pretty sony erricson S500i or W580i! but it was totally out of stock island wideee! woahh! super sellable la. haha in e end i bought a samsung!! rarr i dno how to paste it but its e U70o or 12.1 from the ultra edition, the slide one wiht a mirror front. everyone tells me its a pretty phone suitable for the vain pot i am BUT u know its like not first choice and i dont like being 2nd best. rarrr.

anyway back to the nicest daddy in e world part, see e stupid starhub chap couldnt help me copy my contacts SO he suggested i go home and MANUALLY type every single contact into my phone. i was like raelly WTF. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. but i did anyway. or rather my nice daddy did. all i did was read him the names and numbers and he just tyed away. so nice right!!we sat ther for 2 hours doing this. ahah at the end he declared that i just have too many friends and we should just delete everyone. haha. nooo!!

so after that we drove all e way back to the shop again to get my damn phone. haha got it! then i went home to find a way of gettin all my contacts back into the new phone. damn. suddenly u feel as if 800 contacts is way too many. e idiot wanted me to manually type them all in. er. NO. haha ddaddy helped me install something and spent another 1 hr++++ getin it to work and helping me copy all my contacts from the pc into my neww phone. i picked about 700 people to put in only thou. so e 100 that ive missed :/ sorry.

anyway as i was going through the list of numbers. i realised some things.

1. SMALL HAS 4 NUMBERS. why ah?! ahaha

2. There are quite a number of people i havent talked to in ages.

these are e people who meant a great deal a long time ago, eg. yong jun? samantha? cavell? cindy? erwin? jeremy? haha from a long long time ago when we were very close. how time flies. i still remember most of their faces. and some of the things we used to do together. some of the trees we used to climb. i suddenly have the urge to message all of these people to tell them HEY i still rememebr you and i suddenly miss you! do u even rememebr me? but, i am so afraid of hearing that i've been forgotten and the memories are merely one sided. rarr x( but i supose i shall pick or choose one or two and send....? *shrugs.

then there are people whom i dont even remember and there are like ALOT of jasmines and yilings and alans and jeremys and jonathons and stuff like that. with each name i look at a different memory hits me (walao i got hit 800+times) some beautiful, some disgusting, some just plain erm...ugh f*ck off.... .... ...... ..... ........................ ..............................................

just now i was looking at this old box i have and i poured e whole chunk of letters i've had from my 3 mths in RJ. how i managed to fill that box in 3 months i still dont know. i read what my classmates, random people, old dunman rafflesians have written and suddenly i realise that whats going on in NTU is nothing compared to what i went through there. the scrutiny and bitchings are so mild here, particularly cos there are so many more people to yak about. haha that might explain my heck-care attitude about these rumours and stuff. cos its like e erm... (pri sch, sec sch, rj, vj...) 5th time im hearing nonsense people fabricate about me. so it doesnt relaly bother me really. its kinda what was easily predicted even before i stepped into the school. haha how i started hooking up males in clubs before the first time i ever clubbed with my lovely sydney gang. how i slept with X no. of guys even though i've yet to try sex. sometimes i wonder where all this creativity came about. silly people. perhaps if all e efforts got dumped into marketing and OB, we might see a great deal of A+s this year on 15 and 22 november.

anyway! the exams are near!! oh my!!! lets all study hard and do well ok? haha all e poor ntu ppl who have exams next week GOOD LUCK. ahahah all e smu and nus chaps still have time to watch movie, play bball, go shopping, and stuff. haha i suppose my turn will come soon. rarrr

ALL THE BEST PEOPLE. get those As =D!

really couldnt find many new pics but this is it so far. haha handsome feminine engine mugger. my pri school senior some more! how small e world is =D

i dont like ____.

hurts

and it make me moody for no reason. its cause every little thing to be blown crazily out of proportion.

when my food doesnt arrive it feels as though the whole world's out to get me and the chicken hates me so it ran away and didnt get cooked.

when i study and get bored i feel like crying cos the book looks too fat to be studied.

when i cannot decide on something it seems as though the world is about to end.

and being afraid of the dark is extra scary when its here.

i feel super tiny and the world feels very big. and cars look scary.

okay i feel like crying now.

oh look what didi sent to cheer me up

i swear my boyfriend is totally retarded.

i hate periods rarrr

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. In love, you are very protective and supporting. However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous. At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

Haha i suppose its true to an extremely large extent!

been getting random smses from people i havent been talking to for months or years and i've sent a few myself. all of a sudden these people appear back in ur lives and u realise how much u've missed them over the years. how the every single day bus ride home together then the phone calls till late were long long gone. suddenly everyone's seemed to grow in totally different directions. especially after entering uni, everyone seems to have grown tremendously. didi says i'm pretty much the same internally - naive but sweet, blur but honest, retarded but intelligent. but he says he's worried for me cos i see the world very simply and in an awfully straightforward manner. like everyone is supposed to be nice and there are no meanies around. haha then it suddenly hits like a bus that people are cunning and they are cruel. and they can be horrid even if u dont do a thing to them. and some of them have such big heads u dont know whats going on in them (HAHA) suddenly im stunned. that people actually make friends for the sake of exploiting them and tapping onto their capabilities. like what? how does that even get into ur head. ugh

conformity. realised i dont really subscibe to that much. my sister was reading some psychology text of mine which said how there are numerous kinds of people and the last being those who arent totally mainstream and "nomal" who are overly loud and enthusiatic and crazy and all. my sis was like "HEY LOOK! WE FIT THERE! *BEAMS*" and i was pretty puzzled. is being abnormal all that great? she said "well at least we fit somewhere! there's a category just for us!!" this said with all her innocence and big watery eyes.haha makes me feel different about myself.

the giant difference between me and ezen da ge is that he is willing to conform to norms even if they go against his thinking and logical reasoning. even if it makes no balls of sense. as long as everyone else does it, it has to be right. its as though his life aim is to maintain world peace with the world. as long as im part of it all im cool im fine he seems to think. i sppose thats how people get by and make it through as a normal everyday kinda person. haha the only thing he's done thats probably off the norm would be to grow close to me. and get influenced by my thinking. haha which is about 180 degrees off the normal standards. there are times when friends and group mates do things which are. unethical and not very nice, which he lets go. closes both eyes and of cos doesnt tell me!! now after its all over he goes.

"hey u know...that time.... he..... so we..... not very nice la..... but....... nevermind also hor......" NO ITS NOT OKAY CANNOT NEVERMIND. those would be occasions we dont agree. haha. anyway after that conversation i got back to my room and spoke to the member in question and set things in order again. sometimes im too hard on people. sometimes i wonder how bad things would get if everyone just got their way in everything.

haha my mummy's home from the USA =D i miss my family. i'm longing for it to be complete once again. come 5th nov, my daddy will be back for awhile at leas :( not far far awayyyy rarr brunei is so far. with all the tigers and boars. sniff. stayin in hall i realise the importance of family. like everything moves in and out of ur life. but they are the core that stays. really they are. since i was a little girl like half my height now. my mom would say. no matter what i do wrong or what happens to me, i can always go home. the doors of home will never close to me =) i now understand exctly what she was sayin. if i have kids one day. (ugh..) i will tell them that as well.

and someone told me. for you to know that much about what i do, when i do it, how i do things, whether or not they are accepted, you must notice me a heck lot. thank you, im honoured. but please please try try try hard to pry ur devoted attention away from me and onto others. then u can start speculating and coming up with odd perceptions of them. i think ur job with me shd be done.

pei wen says:
hee i used to tink dat u r a bimbo
pei wen says:
hee i realised dat i was so wrong
pei wen says:
u aint one hee

CHECK THAT OUT.

so for those who think that i am.... its just that u're LAGGING in ur realisation =D

oh yea.

zi high -_-"

HELLO


i know i have to do OB. but i am tired and stressed. and editing the entire 3000 word thingy is goddamn tiring. i love my group. but next time i will gather and form a group of people with strong english ;) haha..



my week's been much better than the last i must say. thou now its quite xiong with that friggin 3000 word thing + 1 OB presentation + 1 marketing presentation + maybe stats case study due. rarrrrr.



i have suddenly been talkin to random people i've met in school and talking quite a bit and hanging out occassionally and stuff. its kinda surprising what you learn from the people u say hi bye to but never actually go get to know. sometimes u wonder if you do really want to know what you find out in the end. oh well. every coin has two sides i suppose



i realise im so stressedfrom school i cant even do things like SHOPPING. was shopping a little with ezen after project while waiting for didi to cme meet me :) i was constantly thinking of OB OB OB that i couldnt relax and enjoy browsing x( he bought formal pants in the end and i didnt get anything. didi bought me a peach tart and some new stickers to brighten my day :) I LOVE WINNIE E POOH. having more and more AND MORE stickers just make me litttle-kiddish happy.



i also realised, being in hall, i miss my family alot. esp my little sister. she's been comin to NTU for ivp basketball cos she's in the nanyang poly team. and i find myself just really wanting to go over to NIE to see her and show her some support. im always eager to wrap up what im doing to head over to wave and give her a hug =D ahaha shortness does run in my family, so said someone who met her -_-"


and kids grow so fast you know. i havent gone to didi's for almost a month now :( and suddenly my baby is no longer a baby. she's gotten so tall her baby fats are gone (shit, mine have yet to go) and she can speak. haha i was sleeping when she came and she couldnt wake me so didi asked her to go bathe saying i didnt bother about her cos she was smelly. haha then after bathing she came and said "jiejie, lingling chong liang le. hen xiang bu hui chou chou le. gen wo jiang hua hao ma?" loosely translated. its "sister, lingling's bathed. smelling nice =) not smelly anymore, please talk to me?" haha and No i didnt wake up still. im a pig. haha but when i did she ran over and hugged me and talked non-stop. im marvelled at how well a 2 yr + kid can speak. haha



ok i shall leave with some pictures again =D


I felt intellectual and smart!!
Pink cupcake birthday party
EZEN CHNG being an ass again!!!
spoiling my every photooooooo
inner girls =D
my steals from the body shop sale in e last post! ALL THAT cost me only like $30. WHAT A STEAL RIGHT
random photo i came across. the one calling us midgets i SUPER. FAST
okay im self obssessed. whats next
kisses =D
seriously, bimbotic or not, i love the hair colourrrr *wheee

well done.


mel is pissed off today. or right now to be exact.


shant put blame on e day at large since it was really productive and enjoyable. project went well but damn tiring. then went to pick up stuff at The Body Shop warehouse sale with gf. WOAH its like one of the bestest sales i've every been to! stuff were dirt cheap with lippies going at $3-5 and body lotions at $5 and gift sets at $20 from $50. helped people get stuff and spent close to $350! ahaha so retarded. u get one lip gloss for every $50 spent and between me n gf we had like 10! haha looked really silly with 10 identical lip glosses in e same shade. was damn tiring lugging e items around e sale cos they were so heavy! but e stuff i bought made my mummy, wanyi, Jj's gf, bingy, and me happy :) so i think it was worth it


YOU know, i've spent e week tryin to understand and discover independence, or rather, to learn to not be dependent on... ... ... all i've learnt is that independence is avoidance. thats all i've been doing to attempt to be independent. pure simple avoidance and distancing from you. as if anything that went on on one side didnt concern a friend and didnt matter the least to the other. if thats the way its suppose to be, then mayb e whole concept is screwed. if its suppose to be the feeling of losing two of the best friends i have made in the past month or so then fuck the concept of independence really. by having two additional strangers in my life, is that independence? wouldnt that make independence merely being able to be without friendship and such. i'm sorry, that isn't mel. this probably boils down to the different importance and perceptions of a particular friendship by different people in it. didi wonders why i bother so much. he thinks girls think too much. yes i am a thinker. and all my thoughts are weird and off. i dont know how to tell you this in person for we are all busy, and the only thought i get when i see u is to move away and head off in search of independence.


and i appreciate efforts and attempts aimed at making me growup/mature. quoting ezen, the idea is there. i really appreciate these attempts and they are welcomed. i know where they are coming from and where they attempt to bring me. for that, thank you. but you, my dear, should probably take sensitivity lessons. all babies know how to cry. and if its going to involve frequent knocks on my doors for criticism of everything from my bedsheet to how i stand to my random sounds... really i will be happy being a winnie-e-pooh loving baby. i have 3 years till i reach the ripe old age of 22. i will get to where you are eventually. quoting didi here, ________. thank you

why I am fucking pissed with soandso. after his odd objections of the forms of outings i have with didi and co. i talked to didi about it. whether or not it is fine by public opinion if i watch a movie with him and a couple of his friends. the difference between seeing it as one girl with five guys. and a couple with three friends. its not a personality problem. its a perception problem. my family and i are not that conservative. there is no issue in my family with 6 men going diving with 1 woman. much less a movie dammit. and there really is nothing that extremey grown up about believeing going out with a significant other has got to be one-on-one. it really is forcing an argument out of nothing to take place since we both actually are in agreement. illogical? go to the fucking zoo.

should i cut my hair short??

Hello! just some pictures from some time ago i FINALLY learnt how to shrink them so i can post them!! =)

my bimbotic episode with ling ling

hall clique celebrating JJ's bday =D

Pageant girls at e photoshoot =D

Pageant babies =D all of us.

in costume

again :)

executive n secretary?

never once did i fall..

hall clique + peiyi! pure happinesss~

hall king and hall prince!!

hall king and hall queen!! royalty!!!

Pageant babies, nervous backstage =x

pageant girls, w/o lala!!! x(!

my pageant partnerr ~

main focus is not jj, its my wonderful room. suddenly i think it needs packing :s e table behind is mine~

hello!

6.06am, im awake! odd huh. in about an hr or so my gf's gona wake up and study (pengz). meant to do OB&D proj then go off to bed. but shoppin online got the better of me. its addictive.

my my. i realise i suck at remembering normal faces. there are way to many people in NTU for me to rememeber all e names and faces. so i really am in general waving to whoever waves and smiling to whoever smles. for some reason this happens alot in Canteen 2. haha random observation these couple of days..

ive been emo again! and i feel like smackin my own butt for it and for stressing e hall ppl. im sorrrrrryyyyyyyy! its odd. how ive been feeling pretty lonely these 2 wks. even though im constantly surrounded by the bestest people u could ever ask for neighbours =)

my roomie's e greatest of cos, thou she cant stand my weird unconcerned attitude towards dust. it is quite funny really. when woman goes magicclean the floor then ask "see how clean e room is mel?" then i think to myself "huh? was there dust in e first place!" but i think its time to clean my table. i found a few bodies of dead insects and dust balls and (let me confirm, im checking) hair, tissue bits. oh my my. when is didi coming ah. hha

there's wan. yi. haha their names are damn versatile i telll u. no matter how u mix and match still ok. e 4 words are wan yi hui ling.
wan yi
hui ling
wan ling
hui yi
wan hui
yi ling
wa i think my math rocks. this is a kinda or permutation? or combination? haha im not sure either. those 2. kee siao. seriously. i dno what else to say. haha they are also my bathing parnters. and i have started to grown dependent on them. sht.

and downstairs of cos there's the guys. bingy and jj. nicest guy in e hall and mr. handsome boy. haha had a very, enriching, enlightening, disturbing, etc.... chat with e guys till late last night cos i zi high and cant slp again. (haha small if ure reading this, my HIGH after 8 still applies) haha. i learnt things i've never known from these 2. and jj is officially e guy in NTU who makes me cry e most. someone chuck one of my sister's gold medals at him please.

u know, i think im a weird person. jj credits it to my traumatised childhood. bingy credits it to my ultra loving daddy who's decided to shelter his baby daughter since she was little, ensuring she'll only marry one who's capable of lovin her in e same manner. but yes i think im weird. im highly dependent. and ultra needy. ie, i'll prob curl up and die if no one bothers about me e whole day. and i'll be really lonely and get depressed and crying if left alone. e thought of comin back to hall in e afternoon when no ones around scares me. ugh. what a worm mel seriously. u need to grow balls. im also really sticky. literally. go firgue.

ok i suspect whatever's been biting me is living under my table. i just got bitten again. ugh. what a bitch. when i find u. u will be our JCRC's vp's supper tml night. ugh.

have i ever mentioned that i love balloons. esp those helium filled flying ones! call me a kid but i really cant help smiling watching them =D haha i also love bubbles. i like to blow bubbles. look at bubbles. pop bubbles. run about with bubbles. haha i love kites. didi was e first person to fly a kite with me. he taught me to. or at least he attempted to. i didnt raelly succeedd, even thou im totally unbimbotic and totally smart.

i want to club. havent clubbed for damn damn damn damn damn damn damn long. bloody 2 months i think. withdrawal symptoms alr. omg!

oh another random bit of info, FRANCIS's COUSIN IS MY TUTORIAL MATE. haha like wth? damn qiao. haha they call him STELLA. and i havent told her about what happened after drinking. hha. im really looking forward to the sydney gang thing on sat!! OMG ITS 2 days from now!! ahhH~ haha been damn long since i actually saw e girls (franny is a girl). i miss them. even thou we're not close till charles would term "suck cock buddies", we have ur fair share of joy and laughter dont we =) even thou one memeber's missing! and we miss her.! we'll still have fun and play around while we're attempting to keep our GPA's up! hoho im excited. SMALL ARE U READING THIS.!!!??? SUAY LIAP AH. i didnt grow. hahahah

i am going to sleep. cos its very late. and i cannot sleep when e sun comes up. and i have project tml. (now is a good time to use the word really) I FUCKING DONT WANT TO GO. those who've heard why u'll get why. those who havent. er u wont then. haha. i dont think its appropriate to say it here.

hello people! this is quite interesting
(hello wanyi i know ure reading this =D )

A kiss isnt just a kiss, or simply a precedent to sex and foreplay.
Most men simply dont realize how important a first kiss is to a woman.
Kissed for the first time by a new or potential lover,
a woman decides right there and then
whether youre in for a second, longer dive.

Good kissers make an unshakable impression.
If you can kiss with much sensuality and confidence that the only
option for your kiss victim is to beg for more,
you can expect the other party
to have opinions of you higher than the
roof above your head.
Its bonus points for physical attraction,
and it gets you very far often into the bedroom.

Good kissers have a range of techniques and
types of kisses for every occasion at their disposal.
A lot of (first) kisses happened in clubs, for some reason,
while youre giddy with groovy music pumping in your
ears and alcohol pumping in your blood.
Everyone looks cuter, dont they, in
that supernatural nightlight swirling
around you. But that doesnt mean
abandoning all rationality and diving
straight into the lusty kill hoping it
might get you a sneak to the toilet for
a naughty quickie, especially if its a
first kiss.

Regardless of the location,
take note of a little helpful advice!

1. Check your breath.
Bad breath is a major turnoff.
Be mint-ready, and eat something light the
meal before the special moment, if you meant it to be.

2. Test the waters.
Youll need to feel the other party out,
and finding the right moment. You dont
want a forced kiss and a hell lot of
embarrassment. If you have trouble
reading signs, make a move on him or her
by getting closer and check the reaction.
Make shifting glances from the lips and eyes.
Response should be positive before you move on,
if he/she backs out, you do that too, no matter
how much you want it. Save some dignity
for yourself.

3. Start slow.
And that does not involve your lips yet.
Body language is important prior to that
moment when lips touch. Reach to touch
his/her arms, or the waist, or the small
of the back. When both of your lips
meet, dont dive the tongue in just yet.
There shouldnt be too much groping wetness.

4. Variety, please!
Dont stick to one boring form of kissing!
Add surprises, and not too much tongue.
Dont engulf your kisser in your mouth either.
You can move from short, soft kisses to longer,
deeper and more intense ones.
Change the angle of your head,
and remember to breathe.

5. Kissing doesnt just happen on the lips.
Body parts included. Go for small pecks
and nibbles on the neck, the earlobes
when the heat is turning up.

in case ure wondering, NO i DID NOT write this -_-" and NO i did nt just give up my first kiss. hahaha.

nostalgia
a wistful or excessively sentimental sometimes abnormal yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition

funny.
how just listening to a song brings back so so many memories
even thou we never even heard the song together before
all i did was stare at u as the song played

unsettling.
how catching a certain scent in e wind turns my head
its as if im lyin by you again
thou that moment was long forgotten

sweet.
how i smile as i long for that saturday 5 years ago
when i rested my head against the piano
mesmerised as i watch your fingers do magic

i stand here looking at my life now. e whirlwind of activites in hall i've packed myself with. the stack of textbooks and notes beckoning me (which i am ignoring). e datelines i'm missing. e dates i ought to arrange but have yet too. tong's flying off tomorrow. and i've yet to meet him. even thou im having fun. i realise i dont know what im doing. then insert didi into the picture. its even larger a blur to me. we're holding on. but.

hello!

i havent updated for a month now. thank you to the loyal people who actually still click on this link. haha

been really busy tryna adapt to school life. my TWO DAY WEEK. haha busy w hall acitivities and for e last 2 weeks hall pageant. ahah pageant was really, memorable i'd say. cos of the gorgeous high ppl. think we're a bunch of 10 ppl whose dictionaries all dont have the word "shy" haha. my partner was this block 70 chap junjie. not too bad la he's a pretty nice guy. more updates on private blog when i feel like it not today.

haha i just realised i have ALOT of projects comin up that i must finish ad i dont have e time to do them all so i need to start now. and im involved with so many things in school as well. thre's dive comm, cheerleading, dance, block rep duties, interblock games, hall activites, tuition kids, etc. super tiring.

been quarelling a hell lot w didi as well. e last one was especially bad. im not gona say more, whether here or pvt blog. but it went seriously bad. sigh

hey school's started. in these couple of weeks. so much has happened so quickly. i've made too many friends to count and too many to remember the names of all. so its become generally smiling at anyone who smiles. and printin notes is a total chore. ugh. lotsa stuff to read and print! hai its seriously independent learning. not good for a baby like me.

then there's always hall life. ohmygod i love hall life. i love my neighbours. everyday its just really re nao and loud and noisy at night when everyone is talkin to everyone and gatherin at my room to gossip and exchange juicy little secrets. ok everyone kinda means my bimbo gang + gf + their signi. other(s). haha but its a hell lotta fun. and its like havin people around u all the time whether u wana eat/bathe or simply take a walk. then there are tonnes of ppl from other halls i've agreed to meet and agreed to eat with but havent gotten e chance to im so sorry! i will yue u ppl soon. and when ive cleared them all there's the people living at jurong and west area to catch up with. =) haha i feel so happy and excited just thinkin about it.

then again there's the horrid balancing of school work! ugh. i was lookin at my readin assignment for a subject and im stunned and sadded instantly. so many pages of so many puny words *wailssss* smart ppl please pass me some brain cells okay. haha but at least i've got lots of time to read and learn. cos my timetable is shit slack. haha they have this whole system wheerby u have to take sme electives thats totally no link from whhat ure studyin. think its really cool that there's this system. only u never get to take what u wana take cos its already taken. holy irrittating man x( ugh. haha i havent gotten anything i want yet. so i'm like stuck w only doin 3 subject modules when my friends are doing like 5-7. so tragic huh.

im amazed at how fast ppl are pairing up in hall and in uni. its like we've all known each other about 10 days and already so many couples have formed. so many things are happenin all around me that i'm starting to lose focus of who i am, wheere i belong, etc. its quite overwhelming sometimes. at a point. i was lost. i didnt know who i was and why i was doing what i was doing with whom i was with. that was troubling.

i need to totally stop drinking. haha quoting DENSE "mel ah. everynight sure seh one. cos everynight we play any game she sure lose" which is quite true now i think about it. and anyone who knows me knows i cant drink for nuts. so its quite dangerous. esp aft Jash i learnt alot. hmm. someone said something to me yesterday which affected me ALOT. i dont think he knows the impact of his words. were nothing more than a line of concern i supppose. but thanks for that jolt back to reality. hmm.

hello!
goodness so much has been happenin since i last blogged. hongkong trip + nbs foc. ive had so damn much fun these couple of weeks! let me update on nbs first!

nbs rocked really. i had a high and fun OG. and e seniors there are jus fab honestly. even e super old ones. it was kinda odd at first seeing some 24/25 yr old guy playin stuff like "concentration" and yelling TONGKAT TONGKAT. but it really is super fun. they have this thingy called like photo formation which is hilarious cos e guys all lie at the bottom and girls just pile on top and everyone yells like "wo yao kan dao wo de lian" (i wana see my face) and guys below are like "wo yao wo de qiu" (i want my balls) haha it was so funny. lotsa fun games and cute cheers and terribly high seniors even at 4am. god i barely slept at all. with about 7 or 8 hours in total in 4 nights. damn siao. came back lsing weight and lacking sleep. but it was worth it =)

ok will update about hk next time. im sleepy.ciao loves

random thoughts

been a long long time since i actually posted an actual post instead of "blogged private". goes to show what a secret rollercoaster ride my life's been. haha nonsenes. boring more like it.

ive been doing some thinking these couple of days. and i look at me now, remembering the girl, one year ago, too weak and emotionally uncontrollable and unstable to take a bus home herself. im suddenly so thankful for the people who stood by me and accompanied me on those lonely rides. to u it might just have been a ride home with a friend going the same way. yakking all the way home. to me it was a way to keep me sane and alive. especially e netball team. i doubt i'd have made it without those girls. that crazy diverse and funny bunch of people.

some random ppl who saved me then. GF.smint.bern.jac.bobby (dont think ive forgottened u).shyong wei.jasmine.teletubby.andrew.adrian.timmy.chrys.amelia.serene.suyi.belle.darren.gabriel.shaun.val.
froggie.e entire netball team........ aiyo. e list is quite long i realised. but thank u to all of you. really.

my gf rocks. without her id have killed myself more than once. she's just the best in e whole world.

think one especialy nice person was bobby. for some reason he took it upon himself to cheer me up constantly every single day (no he was not interested in me.) he did e things id be missing having lost didi. e smses every period. e pei-ing me to mug and even do nothing. e phone calss and all. man that was one heck of a nice nice friend. thank you

especially thankful to simin/smint. alwys there to make the special effort to make people around her feel good. always going that extra mile. sending that quirky sms or two when u most need it. i rememeber some occasions she'd ring me just to ask if i were in school. just so we could go home together so i wouldnt be lonely and curl up at the back of 135 crying. even though 135 isnt the fastest route home for her. and the late night calls t 4am. i will miss those. blur and gong as i am at that time in the night. i'd still wana talk to her. hmm. wonderin when willl be the next time i go over to her place just down the road to bake a nice oreo cheesecake. messing up her entire kitchen along the way. by god i will miss am missing smint so much. she's gone just one year i keep telling myself, but nope. it doesnt stop the tears from falling

i blogged private. sigh

i totally have this thing for guys that play the piano. its damn hot.

beeeeeethoven!
mozart!
bach!
chopin!
JAY!
lee hom!
joel boon?
...........!

haha i am nuts =x read e private

i blogged private. twice thrice

hellO! lets see.so many things have happened and i dont know where to start.

tues, finally registered for driving! shyong wei was nice enough to accompany me there cos i really didnt wana go alone! it was only 5 stops away from eunos. ive no idea how that hanbin could get lost 3x. tragic. anyway. i have realised - THERE ARE NO HOT DRIVIN INSTRUCTORS. shit. haha been thinkin lik swimming coaches with hot bods and stuff :s

after that met hanbin for dinner. somewhere in bedok was this sushi thing we were supposed to try. ended up walkin reallyyyy long cos we couldnt find e place. after that headed to simei to look at little furry fluffy animals! omg i loveeee these cute little creatures. pupppies are so lovable =D its funny how 2 people can look at e same thing and say totally different things
ME! : omggggg they look soooooooooo sweet!! so cute!!!!!
Hanbin : they look cold.
i could have fainted. haha after that i learnt a new.. game/activity. that till today i am still amused and playing! haha shant go into detials and embarrass myself =x haha!
after that weirdly walked from simei back to tanah merah. or at least half way. cos e longer-legged one gave up! haha i am officially scared shitless by flying stuff at night/stuff brushin past at night/walkways without streetlamps! =x

wed!! i went WAXIN with my gf. omg i was so scared cos i heard it hurts like shittttttt. and when they applied e wax it was SO. HOT. haha then she TORE *PISAKE*! (thats e sound of ripping btw) and i was lik *stunned!*. thats it? haha it didnt hurt at all. seriously. its just lik pulling masking tape off ur body. i think biore pore pack hurts a hell lot more than that. i shant even start on epilating :) haha after that shopped around PS. till she had to leave. i attempted to be STUDIOUS and went to the library. i realised i looked pretty out of place with my deep-cut halter cheery yellow dress with gold sandals and giant shades and coloured bangles when people there wore. well. stuff other ppl wear to libs. haha.
later on i went to didi's house for movie marathon/stayover. haha his little brother joined in everything and they are so damn funny together. i have concluded didi is a retard. we watched devil wears prada. and everytime someone makes a funny comment he has to rewind and replay to try to catch it. and after he catches it. he realises he doesnt understand it -_-" haha its hilarious. we watched the illusionist. which was FAB. but i do prefer the prestige. think thats a totally wonderful show.

thurs was spent waking up late to didi's cookin. thou not the best its so wonderful to have him wake me up to get me to wash up cos he's done cooking lunch for me :) its ultrasweet! went to slack around after that..

yesterday has got to be one of the worst days ive had in a goddammit long time.


1. woke up grouchy and was enlightened by didi that its cos of e period thats due soon -_-"
2. went to vivo only to find my beloved Forever 21 dress in size M. no more S.
3. had no pretty shades anywhere and i so wanted shades x(
4. shant mention this here
5. had no good movies
6. couldnt find anything to buy in vivo!


giant place but nothing good. so irritating.


in e end shyongwei got me a mascara and gloss which i absolutely love! i didnt know the face shop actually sold good usable stuff. think its after christian dior and channel and lancome that face shop seems so much more cheapo and all. haha but e mascara was really pretty. like doubled the length of my already long lashes. i like! got a MAC gloss. haha was quite funny. walked around tangs tryin different glosses. so i had 1/4 lip dior, 1/4 lip MAC, 1/4 lip channel, 1/4 lip lancome. haha we both couldnt decide on e best. i liked dior's alot but went with his decision on MAC.


went to bugis village afterward to buy party stuff! im so lookin forward to my party on sat. i've got all e goody bags and games and prizes lined up and ready to be given to my darling kids i will never see again after sat :'( breaks my heart thinkin abt it.


had an interview today for some event model thingy. ugh. e girl after me was 1.75m tall. thanks ah. they probably had problems seeing me at all. haha but its good money man. basic is $25 per hour but e guy says i've got experience so i can probably ask for more IF i suit e events. aha *prayyyyy. i love easy money, ie, stand there look pretty and smile.


anyway i had a giant quarrel with didi today. realised we're both bloody violent people. quite. jialat when we fight i suppose. lots of tears and hurt feelings and stuff. ugh. wonder why we keep going back to each other time and time again when we know we'll quarrel all over.


had a little argument over someone. couldnt come to an agreement on whether she's average, ugly, fugly. i stand by fugly. he thinks its average->ugly cos he says the girls in his present class are worse -_-" haha he seems to always be cursed w not-good-looking female classmates. i mean its a good thing for me of cos but i would like to see pretty faces anyway ma x( haha. so we had a disagreement over it. the silly things we quarrel over huh. in case ure wondering. no we arent discussing her.

You don't even know the meaning of the words i'm sorry?

You said you would love me until you die

And as far as I know you're still alive, baby

You don't even know the meaning of the words i'm sorry?

I'm starting to believe it should be illegal

to deceive a woman's heart

-michelle's blog :)

st james

woohoo! st james is fun!! yesterday was probably one of the best clubbin times we had. was almost spoiled bcos practically NO WHERE had ladies night. and CHEAPSKATE CLUB PRESIDENT/suay liap/small, quoted, "refuse to pay on a wed" cos its suppose to be freee. so we met at clark quay to go try clinic (not free), and we all know mos (not free), zouk (not free). so cabbed to e only free place - st james power station. haha. we got ripped off by e cabbie seriously. one MRT stop. cost us $6++. how horrid huh. haha wasnt very hopeful about e place from what i heard.

e queue was FRIGGING long. but surprisingly fast. haha they are damn slack. didnt even realy check ic or anything. bouncer didnt look at my face. just e IC.. haha. was quite worried cos e crowd looked lik 23/24 MINIMUM. barely anyone our age.. e one reason small loves st james: on ladies night, girls get FIVE FREE DRINKS. yes FIVE. zouk n mos doesnt offer that! only 1for1.. BUT. the queue to get e free drinks was NUTS. seriously. haha we queued for about an hour for drinks!!

but not too bad. the girls got 2 jugs of alcoholic stuff. POOR ME. they decided i get high too damn easily for my own good. and i get tipsy at e slightest drink. SO. i was restricted to ORANGE JUICE/SODA/ICE WATER. thanks. hahah.. in e end got a corkscrew n an orange and a sprite. haha damn stupid. here are my drinks :)

"just one????"
"ok fine. orange JUICE"

haha went along with e juive n it was surprisingly nice and refreshing after takin 1 corkscrew!

"orange juice aint so bad!" (notice how red i am after ONE corkscrew -_-")
"look at ALL their drinks x( not fair"

e music was good. it wasnt 100% pure hiphop/rnb. it was about 85% that. then u get e random Backstreet Boys - LARGER than life (as usual my b__bs got dragged in...) and some odd older songs which werent too bad and very highness inducing! haha it was quite funny. cos there was this oldish man. lik say 30+? and he was like attempting to dance to e tracks but lik it was so obvious he's never heard anything like that and sexyback just wasnt doing it for him. haha after awhile he gave up bobbing and shook his head while walkin off e floor. haha pretty funny!

went to e toilet w small. disappointing toilet!!! compared to MOS/MoMo's it was pathetic. like some shopping center toilet. now toilets are the place we touch up make up..arrange hair.. get pretty.. CAM WHORE. how can it be eeky!! ugh. but we cam whored all e same. (this MIGHT be obscene/offensive to some. advance with caution)

yeaps. those are toilet pics =D haha.. dont ask whats e first shot. i think small looks sexy in e 2nd one ;) hah not long after she had to go home cos her bloody 12am curfew still on! (it was 2am then... -_-") haha kahei and i decided to stay on since we dont really have a curfew. mine's just kinda like have to be home and its ok.. haha. we danced together but i must admit i feel more vulnerable when e group of girls is smaller! haha more, assessible to odd males (which st james has quite a lot of) haha. got high together and had fun. shant mention e end of the clubbin session but er. yes. haha see ya!

if you ever thought it was hard leaving one person you love, try leaving 39?

i swear e pain nearly killed me.

this morning. HOD of science said she talked to e other HODs and agreed that i could stay in term3 till i went to uni. i was like "yayy. i have a job. i can see my beloved kids." but i didnt FEEL thatttt elated. guess i hadnt realised how much this job meant to me.

my last lesson ended at 10am. (ok typin this, i feel sad all over again but hell.) anyway. after lesson. i said my very last "thank you class" to them, knowing thinking that i would come back. i didnt cry but i did get a little tears in my eyes. they gave me lotsa letters and notes of love and gratitude and sadness and misses. then i released them for recess and went to the staff room. when i came out to join them, valerie suddenly sprinted to me and hugged me and sobbed and sobbed and she kept asking me to stay and telling me she didnt want me to go and that she loved me loads. i started to cry. wondered if i shuold tell them i would come back after all. went to e canteen where my loves waited. they were eating my cookies and tellin me how well i could bake (they can lie pretty well apparently) haha. then i took photo with each of them. they all looked really sad and some were crying. heartbreaking. after that. they queued up in a line and each took turns to hug me for the last time.. i tried to smile even though my eyes were filled with tears. (dont ask why i cried when i thought i was coming back) so i went through e day as normal. till 1pm. after my last lesson...

i went to back up to go off to meet didi. was just preparing to leave e staff room when overall HOD came to me. she told me. that they appreciated my willingness to stay in term 3. but the schoool had adjunct teachers and could not keep me. she explained that MOE paid for adjunct teachers but the school paid for relief teachers. they needed to save money. so their plan was to use the adjunct teachers already in school. meaning they would let whoever was free take my class for whichever periods possible. i cant believe they would do this to my kids. how would you feel if english was taught by 3 different teachers. just cos they "were free". sense of belonging? closeness? nothing.

after i was told i broke down. totally broke down. hurried out of school, tears streaming down, barely breathing. quickly found my way to didi before i collasped. i sobbed and sobbed for a really long time. think it was more painful than some of the break ups ive gone through. i realised i didnt even say goodbye properly bcos i thought i would come back. sure i hugged and kissed and took pictures. but e feeling was wrong. i feel bloody sad now. heart brokened. it wasnt just sad..sad... it really really hurt. heartbreakin kinda hurt. it was only then i realised how much i had grown to love the kids. how much the girls now occupied my thoughts and so much of my everyday life. my days were spent planning lessons for them, activities, etc. now. its empty.

some of the stuff they've said:
"ms tan, how come no body wants us. we all very stupid ah? must be.."
"ms tan, i know we are selfish but can u dont go school (NTU) and stay in marymount."
"ms tan, i am very touched by your words on the card. u make me feel gooder. can u dont go?"
"ms tan, i am home now and i am crying. i miss u so much already. its not fair. why did u have to go..."
"ms tan, :'( im really sad and miserable. like lost already"
"ms tan i feel lik i have no one in the world except mummy. then ms tan came and i had a real friend. and now ure going too. everyone will go away. just like my daddy." (her dad passed away 3 years back)

now u know why im heart brokened... :'(

hello! another boring post im afraid. my week's been pretty dead. filled with nothing but childern's laughter and screaming.

after school today went to didi's house t nap.. barely slept at all b4 he called asking where i was and if i was comfy. hung up and went to sleep. barely fell asleep before my collegue evelyn called asking about some science and keying of marks. haha I SLEPT. then. alarm rang. ugh.... time to shower and go shopping =D haha. halffway through my shower, the phone rang AGAIN. wa im an inch of drownin it now. haha hanbin.

met thaat skinny chap at far east and had dinner at e yummy chicken rice place. pity im sick and i din taste much x( bah. haha attempted to shop for jojo's present after that. haha standard shoppin = didnt buy anything. i think he doesnt get how we can spend almost 2 hours walkin all around w/o finding anything to buy.. haha i found a partner to dislike STRIPES AND DOTS (ahem, small.) haha. checked out many many stores and saw many many things i like! BUT i gave self control a shot and TRIED not to look at stuff for myself. haha. headed off for tuition class after that..

tuition was normal. my stuipid kid still has this thing about not going to people's house because he's shy and uneasy. he's freakkin 15 for ____'s sake. his classmates are already doin so much more AT others' houses ;) so cos of that i may have to stop teaching him once i go to NTU. that fool. makes me $240 short. ugh. hopefully my camellia and oscar and ysanne's classes will turn out well then i will have about $400 plus to spend a month in uni.. haha. kids these days names quite cute huh. saffron, mikila, nikita, ysanne, OSCAR (like the whale?), janella, kirby (think furby, they're lookalikes), sasikala, roxianna, JELLY (yess, like JELLY). and i thought my parents were odd. haha.

ugh i'm sick again. i think its a common teacher thing. when one falls, all fall. cos we're all stuck in the same room with the same air with the same germs goign in circles. so many of us are sick. haha. think i probably passed the stupid virus to hanbin as well. poor fella. just recovered and now he's caught it again. (for ppl who read e private blog entry on shaun, NO i did not...ya) hahah. tml will continue e spread to jean and didi i think. my joggin plan's foiled by the flu.. i dont wana dieeee!

byee

"the case of bastardisation is increasing along with globalisation man." - someone

i agree. things have been said. people have been hurt. its unnecessary and someone deserves to have that useless dick of his chopped for it. i dont get why, after so long, u'd do something like that when from e beginnin she's been nothing but sweet and u've been nothing but a lyin creep.

also, i found out something at jevon's house talkin to someone who's bunkmate of someone who's bf of someone. made me burst out crying cos i felt her pain. another bastard - serial cheater. love is blind i swear. it makes girls believe he will change. cheat once. repent. apparently it doesnt work that way. more like cheat once. forgiven. attempts to repent. heck, cheats again. and again. then cries when he's found out. once again, i swear love is blind.

then, i hear about my friend who's broken up recently. yet mr. (ex)bf of hers still asks her out and insists on meeting up for regular sex. what e heck. what is the world coming too. we all know love and sex are two seperate things in the minds of males, but thats really quite crossing the line i should think.

ugh.

hello.

spent my weekend going from place to place havin fun.. sat started out at cine. suppossedly to kbox. but e guys ended up xbox-ing instead -_-" haha i totally dont get soccer. seriously. sat around talkin to ying at this machine u press e screen. then went for lunch with her. haha as expected. we ended up shopping. cos there was a LIME flee. looking for something nice and cheap to pick up. but there wasnt anything!! UGH. hah i bought 2 bangles in e end. one bright red and one orange. an impulsive buy no doubt that didi could not understand. haha..

after that went to KTV at singtel building. haha i like. especially since there were people with good voices =D haha im talkin abt zhu of course ;) haha. shant go too much. anyway. after that lik 6+ met this model fella kelvin and went to jevon's place with him n jevon. jevon's bday party. ahha so cute huh 19th bday party thingy.. darren. kelvin, me. haha trust me when i say it was ODD. i ended up discussing newspaper articles and modelling with kelvin -_-" haha. was sitting around waiting for more familiar faces to turn up. in end i was saved by JOYCE! my soap-girl. haha spent most of the evening with her. talkin and laughing and stuff. it was enjoyable spendin time with her. she's like the kinda girl u knoow in school and talk to occassionally but never had the time to really sit down and get to know her better. in e end i was too lazy to go home from friggin-other-end-of-the-world Tanah merah and convinced her to stay over too. haha

later on these 3 other girls turned up. i dno what to say about them. i suppose first impression matters and well. yea. hmm. we all went for prata at this seempang place which was bloody far away from his house man (although i seemed to be the only one to think so. ) haha. the 3 headed off after that. sat around in his room talkin to the army guys + vic + howan + zac who were staying. so many people squashed into 2 mattresses and one room. gosh. was worried e whole night that vic would roll of jevon's bed and squash me on the matress (how on earth is the matress/mattress spelt) n worried that prom king's soccer leg would kick me n kill me. haha males. talked to jevon and learnt alot that night ;) alot on opinions and sizzling hot issues. haha good to hear male opinions once in awhile. im glad i went for the stayover. wish i had photos to remember it though..

sun was spent sleeping. then a simple mother's day dinner at the club. went for a 2nd dinner with didi's family at a BBQ. ended up quarreling so badly it practically led to a break up. he concluded that im seriously e kinda person who bolts and gives up e moment i cant do it. relationship fallin apart, break up and leave. studies troubling me, forget e understanding part and bloody eat the text books. everything i do. its e same approach. throw everything into it and pray it cooks well by itself. if it doesnt. hope someone else does it for me. not possible? ok then, byeeee. guess its something i've always known but never dared to face. he really does know me really well. enough to read me inside out. and also to take care of me. now e trick is to stay good to him. haha.

i brought my uncle to sentosa on sunday.

whaha sounds odd doesnt it? well, IT WAS. haha but helps that he's 19 and young and strong (read: carry all the bags) and that is was fully sponsored by my mummy =D

haha so i played tour guide for the day and brought him all the way from lavender to harbour front. conned him into doin shopping with me for about an hour b4 leading him to e sentosa bus. haha..

first stop, underwater world =) i know EVERYONE knows this place. but how many people actually remember what its like to BE in the tunnel. to see fish 4 times ur size. (to see what i get to see whenever i dive basically) haha. i am totally obsessed with jellyfish i realised. they are so the cutest. and like what the hell. im shorter than a dugong.

the funny white thing below is a dugong. which is bloody 1.7m tall :( but FAT and awfully cute. she was swimmin upside down and pretending like she was gonna ram the tunnel. haha so cute.

next stop was e dolphin lagoon =) pink dolphins are the cutest ever! i like pink! and i dont like indian tourists! ugh. indian kids were runnin about in e tunnel spoiling my pedicure! then e grown ups with giagantic bodies were shoving me and pushing past me w/o even sayin a word. AND stupid mothers POPPED their friggin heads into my photos. lik we're takin half way, they dont have e courtesy to let us take a picture first. they have to just butt in so that their heads cover half the screeen. ugh. send them back to india please. haha

as a tourist, how can we not see e musical fountain. for those of u who agree with the musical fountain statement. HA. its time for u to visit sentosa again! its not called musical fountain anymore noobies. its called the SONG OF THE SEA. which is basically good sound and lights/lazer and water effects but lousy storyline. there was this really cool part whereby they used fire puffs. ok that sounds funny but i swear! it was fire! like hot fire u could feel. and it came out like cotton balls. so i thnk its fire puffs. ahha overall it was pretty nice i should say. enjoyed it.

my first time going out with my uncle. haha he says next time round i can go up to KL and he'll take me shopping =D haha im hoping my dad will allow. ugh. there's this bangkok trip some friends are takin but my dad and didi arent allowing me to go x(!!

haha OH YA. mango's having sale. and there's this racer back/tank top in BRIGHT yellow. if anyone see it around. sized XS ($9).. PLEASE PLEASE get it for me first. PLEASEEEEE. i'll pay u back asap. i really want it!!!!!!

anyway i've fallen for an F21 top! i think its so pretty and its in satin. i just love satin/lycra-ish tops. i dno y i hate cotton but i do. this is the top! cute huh. its good cos its shows of what i have and hides what i dont. i'll leave u to figure which part of the torso im referring to. its retailling $48. wondering if i should get it online for about $30+. saw another dress i like too.. ahha was hoping it'd make me taller cos of all e lines! haha hows e top...

ive been super busy this week. mid year papers are supposed to be marked THE DAY of the exam. meaning we stay back till about 4+ earliest to mark the scripts together. whoever thought the DOING of the papers was hard should bloody try the MARKING. god. it will kill u. the number of language errors. and ure lik "OMG SHE COPY WRONG!?!?!". all kinda silly mistakes that make u super gek and feel like killing the girl. thats eng paper. math paper was damn easy to mark for me cos i got the top class and everyone scored an average of 62/70. DAMN good. so its all ticks and no crosses. but i got quite sad marking their papers. cos its like 62/70.... 62... i bet 50% of my girls cant get 62/100 even x( haha susanne said today "small girl dont be sad la. its not you, its THEM" ahah. righttttt -_-" anyway as e retarded hanbin counted for me. ive got about 12 days left. breaks my heart to think about this. twelve. then e numbers shrink so fast till soon im down to 1. then zero. heartbreaking. hai. i've grown so attached to my girls. thnnk its such mel behaviour to grow extremely attached to someone/something in a really short period of time. like how i did with RJ, NETBALL. and how it will never/never did happen with VJ, dance, etc..

im down withn gastric flu and a virus attack. i realise im really becomin teacher like. resting at home now. i CANNOT stop worryin about my kids. are they doing the work assigned? the faster ones, are they revising for tml's quiz? are they behaving? are the naughty ones stressing my cute leader? ahhh! haha im marking compos (which they are failing) now. haha

im probably taking another 3 students from june on. 2 are marymount girls and one's an acs boy.. haha think this will finance my uni's allowance :) dno if i can keep them till e end of e year thou..i dno hwo much to charge pri 4 and pri 6 thou. can ppl give me suggestions of rates, no. of hours, etc? 1 girl's pri 4 eng math sci, pri 4 sci, pri 6 math sci. how much will that earn me? not forgettin i still will keep my sec 3 kid that cant spell "perpenDQlar"

im touched. my kids are sweet. they have my hp no. so they're smsing me to wish me well and sending love and hoping i come back tml. haha so sweet. the smses all came in from 10-10.30 - recess time. how cute indeed :)

i feel so relaxed after losing my dior job. no more ugly faces to put up with. now when i go to lido, i walk as a customer. as if i have a million bucks in my thousand bucks wallet to throw into e bitches' faces. now SERVE ME WELL, before i write a complain letter. shiok. bitches. as my gf said b4. we shdnt be cosmetic girls. we should be studying hard to one day run the company and FIRE the bitchy ones. muahaha! (sense e intense dislike of cosmetic bitches?) haha. e only thing i miss is meeting nice customers that come back after a few days just to "pop by and say hi" or e nicer girls, ie, jingying, joy, alice only. haha limited aye? haha. i also miss ENDLESS supply of FREE make up to play with. hundreds of lippies for me to test all e colours i want for 8 hours. UNLIMITED perfume for me to spray everyday. haha.

anyway. im tryin to decide between a coach or a burberry bag. indecisive me.

i see they both look hedious here. haah the burberry one is shinny and gorgeous in real life. haha. i will NOT be teampted to get both x(. think they're $800++ each. hopin to get them cheaper from e states.~ oh well. see how it goes.