HELLO

i feel guilty not updatin a shit when all e NUS ppl who still havetheir exams are updating, namely my dearest sisters tan. btw i miss you guys. even more than i miss franny baby. whom i also miss alot cos he is totally retarded and army isnt helping one bit. haha

im suffering from post exam depression (at this point of time. i am sure nus and smu ppl wana kill me) the suddenly lack o mugging is making me moody and im feelin pretty empty thou my schedule's full and ive something to really look forward to everyday till about a week + from now. didi says this is a typical mel reaction to after exams, happened after e Os an As too! only i didnt know.haha how silly of me really. i even went to e lib to get some story books but it doesnt work! thinking of starting next sem's studying =/ haha

today, i went to vivo with ezen and cheemin. our beloved xiangting, taking her royal time, was 2 hours late!!! its okay. royalty ma!! haha we shoped and kept eating and sat around watching the sea (so they say), watching construction work (mel thinks). sat ther listenin to music and havin e wind blow against us till e sunset =) then we went to play POOL. omg damn lousy ezen n chee vs mel n xt. first to winning 3 games! haha omg. they won 3-2 BUT! 2 outta 3 of their wins were CHEAPSKATE (i dont mean to insult u small). they only won cos xt popped e black, twice. CHEH. so technically, e girls won=) what kinda guys lose girls in pool!? haha

okay my life is so boring i've nothing much to say now. haha i wana watch nice dramas. any recommendations? haha i dont want winter sonata/stairway to heaven type please. thoese bore e shit outta me. i rememebr in sec 1.. me n phoebe attempted winterS. we BOTH fell asleep in e first episode, until her mom came back hours later to find to sleeping pigs and a runnin dvd player =/ haha

u know, even though i basically can start talking and chatting with practically anyone. there are a select few (extremely extremely few), i just cannot clique really well with. meaning we like each other perfectly fine, no bad feelings and all. but words just dont flow..usually it doesnt matter to me at all.no biggie u see. i gel with at least a hundred for each of them there are. BUT. its quite a pity. that ____ happens to be one of them. it suddenly dawned up me. how we can start talkin, but hardly much. it alwys pauses and ends. really it does. its such a pity. could be cos its something ive wanted for so many years. now that i have the chance im speechless (mel speechless? ok mayb not.) but still. i find myself trying again and again to make it start another day. mapping out plans and all that nonsense. i've realised i have to try to not think about _____ and how much he charms me. cos its nothing more than a fantasy thats too far away. its just not happening, like fetch (mean girl?). like how ive stopped using juzadream. this is just a dream. its just a dream. he's just a dream. and i've woken up. its time to delete the tab to his friendster in my favourites. time to have one last cry and let it go. ive never smiled and felt the way he made me feel, even years after. but it really is just my wishful thinking. and mel is not used to not getting what she wants. goodbye fantasy. really.