i just spent an hour talking to myself. actually one and a half. looking in the mirror doing hair and make up tlaking to myself. reminding me i deserve better. and 5 disappointing males in one week isnt much, and that it could have been worse.

i just found out a very very saddening piece of news. i think if someone's attached. it should be declared from the start. so poor souls like me wouldnt be moved and wouldnt be attracted and wouldnt be upsetted. then again i suppose its my fault for being moved too easily. TELETUBBY i'm talking abt the guy from. YAR... he's got a gf. sniff. and he texted last night. and this mornn.. and this afternoon his friend told me. SIGH, been comin up with all sorts of logical explanation on what his exact words and whether the girl in the statement didnt mean gf. but it was a little hard to pretend otherwise.ugh. and i m surprisingly feeling hurt. usually mel will just yell and make some noise and to hell with another. crush. haha this time i am a litttle hurt. saddddd...

and someone's not gona be able to make it to dbl o later. disappointed indeed. was looking forward to seeing him, alot. to maybe take my mind of mr bday boy who will be there. sigh. its okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

last night sittin on my bed at 5am, i felt this suddenly. lifting o spirits.. all along at times like that (5am after reading a storybook), i feel the compelling urge to text didi or someone to say something, generally the male i'm seeing. just to say something. but last night. that need to text was only short-lived and suddenly it lifted off me. really, i felt lighter and happy and i was smiling and almost crying w the sheer intensity of it. haha yes i know being single has make me a like wonky. bah..ah gong says its midnight highness. hahaha, but in e end i texted gerald to tell him _________ and got a rather interesting reply the next morning. haha ;)

okay. single mel is off to meet the best friend. then to meet the sydney ppl and have a hell of a time. single hot men in dbl o beware !