A lucid dream is a dream in which the person is aware that they are dreaming while the dream is in progress, also known as a conscious dream. When the dreamer is lucid, they can actively participate in and often manipulate the imaginary experiences in the dream environment. Lucid dreams can be extremely real and vivid depending on a person's level of self-awareness during the lucid dream.

I was randomly revising for my exams, and just thinking about L as I so often do, then suddenly I wanted a certain something and just thought of closing my eyes again to look for him. It studdenly struck me so forcefully then, the reason why i'm often late for school. More than once, when the alarm rings, I wake and suddenly realise i've lost him. And there's this crazy irritated denial that turns off the alarm and sends me back to my lucid dreams to look for him. I'm good at controlling and remembering my dreams, so I always find him. I always find him waiting just where I got dragged out of the dream. I'm so happy doing what I've alwaus wanted that I forget about going to school. This has always existed somewhere in my little brain, I just never acknowledged it. Now I shall. I shall attempt to stop floating back into my dreams just to see and be with and love. Welcome back to earth and reality mel. Or better still, look forward to going to Milan. Remember your theory on distance vs closeness of the friendship? For all you know, you'll become best friends once you guys have a million miles between you :)

When my granny's show on TV played, I had my dinner while watching it. Suddenly, this actor appeared with a side profile that matched that of a particular asshole i've been unfortunate enough to meet and know. All of a sudden I was gripped with fear, the same fear from not so long ago. The same fear I felt sitting at the edge of the stairs. Sigh.

I seriously think this whole staying home on a saturday is so not for me. I'm your regular outdoor kid. The indoors bore me and the lack of sunshine dampens my feelings and makes it all gloomy and dull for me. I seem to have lost the will to smile and as my tears fall between sheets of Why We Work notes, I'm reminded that my day dreaming and lucid dreaming is really. really. stupid. But I thank the friends who've been around whether through calls or smses, especially those who've actually driven down or wanted to drive down to take me to supper or dinner or just to send donuts over. You guys make my day, remind me that i'm loved by all of you and challenge me to get over this skinny nut and move on with a big fat smile on my little face. Thank you