Hey! Goodness, this is hilariously difficult. See every morning, we’ve gotta scan the global arena for news pertaining to our industry, competitors, and those who are kind enough to mention our company in their print. This morning, among the pile that was thrown on my table was “LIAN HE ZHAO BAO”. Yes, I’m impressed myself that I could read the name, nothing much else unfortunately. I barely managed to finish scanning the first page, since I could only base the content of the articles on the pictures and illustrations which barely gave away much (since I couldn’t read the caption below the picture). So yes, I was stressed beyond anything! Chloe wasn’t much help since essentially she’s as bloody ang-moh pai as me! Ah ok what am I rattling about, I’m not here to talk about this.

Suddenly, randomly, swee and I broke up last night. Gf says it may be expected, but certainly not then and in that way. I’d probably expect, over the next few weeks or even next sem, the poor boy’s gonna get all the “I told u so”s about how he were merely a fling. Irritating as it may be for me, let me clarify; flings don’t make it to the status of boyfriend. BUT not making it to the status of boyfriend doesn’t make someone a fling either. Its not THAT hard to understand really. It was painful. Partly cos it was so sudden and unexpected, like one day we were close and alright and suddenly its over. Its still no quite sunk in yet. And I get random bursts of hurt  sigh but I suppose it was a short relationship so I’ll get over it quickly. I’m not heartless. I just fall in love fast and get out of it just as quickly. I shan’t talk about it here to respect both him and myself but swee’s an absolutely wonderful guy. Although he may be a male version of Mel which generally makes him emo and retarded and random and illogical at times, there’s this sweetness and thoughtfulness that was just beginning to grow. Honestly, its an absolute pity we weren’t together long enough for me to really enjoy all that. Bah. Pity. Ok I’m going to cry….

ANYWAY, that aside, I was awfully upset when I got home yesterday so I rang best friend. Then I rang gf too! My HORRID gf was laughing at me L see, I discovered something that’s very alarming to me. And its awfully tragic I should think? After this breakup, Mel is left at a point of malelessness. There’s a difference in being single and being maleless. Now of course I don’t expect everyone to fully understand and appreciate the supposed bull I’m sprouting, but single, means not being attached. Whereas malelessness is a situation I recently found myself in, in which I’ve absolutely no significant male in my life. Be it, involvement or boyfriend or anything (my best friend doesn’t count since we no longer have any feelings for each other, and in case you’re wondering, getting back together isn’t even something we vaguely worked our brain cells on at all). Yeap. How e hell do you survive malelessness? Its nothing at all to most people. My gf’s been that all her life until THE PIG popped out one fine day and decided to love her and bully her gf (UGHHH). But Mel, nono, Mel has never been maleless. It started in sec 1, there was one close male friend, then after him, there was another, and another, and yet another!!! All the way from as far as I can remember, there’s been someone. Hell! I was even almost dating in primary school for that matter. Today, looking at it now, I’ve a heap of male friends of course, but no one I’m seeing or anything. Actually, I’m rather proud of myself! Mel without a male? Impressive. But the world ain’t a nice fat chocolate cake obviously, malelessness is misery inducing. Suddenly I sit at home and wonder. OMG who do I call before going to bed tonight? Who’s text am I going to be expecting tomorrow morning when I wake up. Which nice guy is going to give me my wake up call! So I asked gf, what do you do when you’ve nothing to do and you’re rotting on the bus? Who do u text? And she said…. No one? Normal answer to everyone, but unimaginable for me. How do the truly single do it? I mean, seemingly endless bus rides? With no one to text? Reaching home at 9pm without any one to talk to over the phone till u sleep at 1am? Suddenly, I’m flung into this deep mysterious world of singlehood and malelessness. And this new territory scares me. I’ve no idea how to be one how to act like one how to think like one. I asked gf, what are u doing on Sunday. She said “no plans?” NO PLANS?? Okay…the thought of a day with nothing to do scares e shit out of me. I was a nervous wreck the last time that happened.

Sigh update more tomorrow if im free in office. Going shopping with my mom later before meeting sijian to catch a movie =)!