Let me do some seemingly random rambling. I was pondering the state of evergreens. The innocence they seem to have which I will never figure even if my life should depend on it. The extreme shyness that seems to be packaged along with it baffles me. However meet the hybrid evergreens. The stated evergreens that have gone where no proper true evergreen has ever gone. This lot are the new generation grown experienced from increased alcoholic influence. Essentially, they still don’t know how to take care of a girl the way a girl deserves to be loved. And I was pondering on friendship. When friends cross the lines to become more, can you ever take a step back and keep the friendship? Chole e other intern, says the moment you cross the line you’re screwed. You will never look at your friend the same way again. He will not be friend X, but friend who’s interested, or friend you’ve kissed, or friend you’ve held, or friend you’ve ____. Yea, she says it’ll never be the same again. I wondered and realized I don’t agree. If you cant be normal friends with a guy you’ve dated/kissed, I’d be kinda short of friends right now. I think a friendship shouldn’t be thrown away just cos the guy stupidly fell for u, or u guys got drunk enough to make out. I suppose I believe friendships should be strong enough to withstand such shit humans get themselves into.

OKAY that’s all. I shall stop before I give the show away ;) celebrated teletubby’s birthday yesterday. Lucky boy, jean surprised him at dinner, jas surprised him with a cake and Brandon, just surprised him. Haha. There was supposed to be a kiss (by mel’s declaration…) which did not happen. After the absolute random meeting of random people, Brandon drove this Kongwei guy and I off to zouk. Did I mention I love his car? It’s a pretty red car =) don’t ask me what e hell it is. Its got 4 wheels and 4 doors. I just like it cos its red and rather small. Quite a sexy car I should think. We both went there with a common agenda of meeting someone. Kongwei just played supporting player. Was supposed to meet the divers but I was so late they ended up walking from Zouk to like Tanglin to stone while waiting for me =x made me feel awfully bad. Well I was feeling a little down, cos I looked forward to seeing someone who decided at the very last minute not to show up. I admit I was rather down  so I decided to go and meet hot handsome people and have a hell of a time. AND, as I wandered round e club w e 2 guys, checking out the crowd and such, this familiar frame loomed in front of me. I wasn’t hoping for much so didn’t really notice him, until he stopped in front of me and … … I swear I was close to tears  the disappointment and dashed hopes went out the window and this odd extreme happiness took over. Been awhile since I felt such random intense delight. He said he wasn’t coming! It was the sweetest surprise I’d had in a friggin long time. In fact, I cant remember when I last felt this. But happiness was short-lived. Yeap.. EVERGREENS. Ugh, this I will rant in private. Angry. So yea, went walking with the guys a little more and randomly decided to drink. Mel, knowing she couldn’t drink, SHARED one cup with Brandon. Talk about self control =) but he drank so slowly she got bored and downed the cup for him. Walked around, slacked around and went for supper. Bumped into him along the way  and his bloody, bloody, cute friend. Haha sweet. Back in e club, got disappointed time and time again. Gave up on e insensitive ass and went to look for my diving buddies. Haha divers are crazy. Totally insane. Haha which also means loads of fun and retarded highness! I had fun till I got a text saying he was heading outside for awhile. Went to look for him…disappointing. Then we all went to dance and get high again haha. After exhausting ourselves, headed outside to get some air. AND, I got disappointed again, and again. Another private story for the ears of the deserving only. SIGH. Males. I don’t get it. So I decided, “okay fine. We’re both not seriously bout each other then, this shall really be a fling. Have fun then screw it la!” but no, e chap went all emo and decided to have a HTHT and try to iron things out between us. Absolutely neglecting ignorant of my disappointment. Seriously, he was faking it. He REALLY didn’t know (that is why I don’t date evergreens.ugh) so I explained it to him (yes I know I’m NEVER that kind, but this time I actually tried). But did he get it? NO. did he repeat the exact same mistake? YES. At that point, I was really. Okay I don’t know how to describe it but hell, it wasn’t nice. The most infuriating thing was I knew he didn’t mean it. He wasn’t being a jerk, he was being, innocent! I don’t know how else to put it. Ugh. Its okay…

We will talk about it tomorrow then make a call. Then I’ll leave and go diving, taking whatever big decision we make along with me 

I’ve no net, so I wont be able to blog or msn or facebook for goodness knows how long till I go to didi’s house to use his computer. My best friend’s e best really. Haha =)

Hello.

For those who’ve been trying to hang out. Here’s your chance. I’m gonna be officially free. Yeap, you guessed it. Mel got fired again  who e hell gets fired from an internship. But I guess this call is only appropriate. I decided that the company and myself was better off if I left and I came to terms with it pretty quickly. No I didn’t do anything retarded or wrong this time. It’s a mere incompatibility of personality and job scope. I’m not on school intern so technically I don’t have to stay and they don’t have to keep me since its no contractual thingy. Yeap. They say I don’t learn the way they need me too and I think differently and stuff like that. I work in a different style. My manager thinks I’m more suited for like Customer Relations and HR compared to Media and Journalism related work. I suppose she’s right. I often feel pretty loss in this office. Like I’m just doing what I’m told without much thought or anything going on. Not really right now that I think about. Since I’m getting peanuts, and its not compulsory and I’m not really benefiting, its better to cut my losses.

Haha my friend’s reaction was hilarious, she went like “what the fucking fuck? Fuck no!” Haha think she’ll have no more friend to confide in and lunch with now that I’m leaving. The IT support guy that’s become my email buddy’s down too. We agreed its quite cool to have an email buddy, like a new generation of penpal thing. Haha interesting but its coming to an end! Poor Shane 

Depressed mel was contemplating not going out after all and going home to sulk and brood over my loss. But decided not to be mean and pangseh sijian again. After all, we were gona watch the movie with the hot takeshi! =D so I went. BUTTTT!!! The movie was sold out everywhere!! On a friggin Monday no less! We walked from cine to ps to Cathay and back to ps and round and round before sitting under a random tent to chat. Haha funny person. Trying to con him to go mambo on wed now! =x for the records, I’m still single. (SMALL, ur boobs are at stake…. Its been TWO weeks)

Oh ya. And if any one has any form of job openings or hear of any one else looking for (short) girls to do normal temp jobs such as road shows, or really just standing there looking pretty, do let me know. I’m open to most kinda jobs like these as long as they don’t require me to sell tiger beer or something (thou German beer in a cute skirt and high boots is fine.. ;) ) haha! Let me know if any one has openings basically!!! I’m jobless and its time to drop e friggin decent shit I’ve been donning all month. That’s about the biggest HURRAY I have. Other than no more waking at 7.30 =/

And for those who know him, TODAY, 27th May 2008 IS TELETUBBY’S 21ST. HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN!!! Thanks for the 7 long years u’ve been a great friend to me =D now ure old and ancient, I will be super nice to you too! See ya in NTU you engineer!! =D

20th May 2008, Tuesday

Less posts obviously indicate an increase in workload. Haha e weekend was fabulous! =D on sat met jean and jo then surprised jo with the rest of the 2J guys =D its so funny that after so many years the guys haven’t changed one bit! They’re still the whacking comical bunch they were. Took loads of pictures and had fun in the sun before heading to vivo for dinner =) haha it was a sweet event really, sitting around reminiscing the good ol’ days when we could do shit and no one cared. And how hilarious MEP days with Mdm Ong were. Unforgettable =)

Sunday. OMG SUNDAY! Horrid sijian suddenly couldn’t go blading with me and wonks couldn’t go swimming with me either  SO. Brave mel, determined to conquer singlehood, decided to go tanning and swimming, ALONE. Courageous? Brave? I know =) haha. But brave as I may be, it didn’t go THAT well. Within a few laps I was swinging terribly! Guess I’m not that used to singlehood afterall..

Monday was mahjong w Sydney gang, val fran and small =) haha fran and the lucky bucket! Nonsense I somehow managed to set my fingernail on fire.. tragic! Franny baby had to leave soon after so I got alvan to come along and he brought gary n jean along too! Haha it was amusing watching the groups click, or make an attempt too. Haha nothing exceptional happened. After that cabbed off w Alvan to go meet sijian for dinner! Haha nuren’s retarded. But he was gona book in so he had to fly off early  so I went off again to meet didi to have a chat =) its always a really warm, sweet feeling to chat with someone who knows you inside out. He finishes my sentences and reads the things I don’t say and feels the emotions I try to keep hidden. Besties for life, seriously =D haha. Now that I’m typing it I suddenly feel as though my day was super super long and I met a heap load of special friends =D more to come!

Hey! Goodness, this is hilariously difficult. See every morning, we’ve gotta scan the global arena for news pertaining to our industry, competitors, and those who are kind enough to mention our company in their print. This morning, among the pile that was thrown on my table was “LIAN HE ZHAO BAO”. Yes, I’m impressed myself that I could read the name, nothing much else unfortunately. I barely managed to finish scanning the first page, since I could only base the content of the articles on the pictures and illustrations which barely gave away much (since I couldn’t read the caption below the picture). So yes, I was stressed beyond anything! Chloe wasn’t much help since essentially she’s as bloody ang-moh pai as me! Ah ok what am I rattling about, I’m not here to talk about this.

Suddenly, randomly, swee and I broke up last night. Gf says it may be expected, but certainly not then and in that way. I’d probably expect, over the next few weeks or even next sem, the poor boy’s gonna get all the “I told u so”s about how he were merely a fling. Irritating as it may be for me, let me clarify; flings don’t make it to the status of boyfriend. BUT not making it to the status of boyfriend doesn’t make someone a fling either. Its not THAT hard to understand really. It was painful. Partly cos it was so sudden and unexpected, like one day we were close and alright and suddenly its over. Its still no quite sunk in yet. And I get random bursts of hurt  sigh but I suppose it was a short relationship so I’ll get over it quickly. I’m not heartless. I just fall in love fast and get out of it just as quickly. I shan’t talk about it here to respect both him and myself but swee’s an absolutely wonderful guy. Although he may be a male version of Mel which generally makes him emo and retarded and random and illogical at times, there’s this sweetness and thoughtfulness that was just beginning to grow. Honestly, its an absolute pity we weren’t together long enough for me to really enjoy all that. Bah. Pity. Ok I’m going to cry….

ANYWAY, that aside, I was awfully upset when I got home yesterday so I rang best friend. Then I rang gf too! My HORRID gf was laughing at me L see, I discovered something that’s very alarming to me. And its awfully tragic I should think? After this breakup, Mel is left at a point of malelessness. There’s a difference in being single and being maleless. Now of course I don’t expect everyone to fully understand and appreciate the supposed bull I’m sprouting, but single, means not being attached. Whereas malelessness is a situation I recently found myself in, in which I’ve absolutely no significant male in my life. Be it, involvement or boyfriend or anything (my best friend doesn’t count since we no longer have any feelings for each other, and in case you’re wondering, getting back together isn’t even something we vaguely worked our brain cells on at all). Yeap. How e hell do you survive malelessness? Its nothing at all to most people. My gf’s been that all her life until THE PIG popped out one fine day and decided to love her and bully her gf (UGHHH). But Mel, nono, Mel has never been maleless. It started in sec 1, there was one close male friend, then after him, there was another, and another, and yet another!!! All the way from as far as I can remember, there’s been someone. Hell! I was even almost dating in primary school for that matter. Today, looking at it now, I’ve a heap of male friends of course, but no one I’m seeing or anything. Actually, I’m rather proud of myself! Mel without a male? Impressive. But the world ain’t a nice fat chocolate cake obviously, malelessness is misery inducing. Suddenly I sit at home and wonder. OMG who do I call before going to bed tonight? Who’s text am I going to be expecting tomorrow morning when I wake up. Which nice guy is going to give me my wake up call! So I asked gf, what do you do when you’ve nothing to do and you’re rotting on the bus? Who do u text? And she said…. No one? Normal answer to everyone, but unimaginable for me. How do the truly single do it? I mean, seemingly endless bus rides? With no one to text? Reaching home at 9pm without any one to talk to over the phone till u sleep at 1am? Suddenly, I’m flung into this deep mysterious world of singlehood and malelessness. And this new territory scares me. I’ve no idea how to be one how to act like one how to think like one. I asked gf, what are u doing on Sunday. She said “no plans?” NO PLANS?? Okay…the thought of a day with nothing to do scares e shit out of me. I was a nervous wreck the last time that happened.

Sigh update more tomorrow if im free in office. Going shopping with my mom later before meeting sijian to catch a movie =)!

Rather ironic isn’t it, how the most free time I have to surf facebook and blog is at work! Haha I haven’t fully understood the Monday blues thing but people do seem to be a little grouchier on Mondays! However I’m absolutely bored. Been sitting at my desk doing nothing much whatsoever since the moment I stepped in today. Would much rather lie asleep in my bed, having scenes which could only be dreams and not more. =x

Yay! I found lunch buddies! Mak and Daniel (hussain) are working over at Novena! Which is a mere 2 min train ride away and my office is about 40seconds walk away from the mrt station! Coolness, no more office politics during lunch hours for me 

Let me update about Saturday! It was planned to be a very perfect birthday celebration for jasmine <3 at sentosa with the sun sea sand (hunks… …) BUT. The weather had to blow it. Well many thanks to jon who was sweet enough to drive down from boon lay to pick me up before heading off to vivo! Met small and jas and we went for lunch before deliberating whether or not to go ahead with out sentosa plan. Decided against it. Now what’s Sydney outing without some drama. Haha think two little girls running around Vivocity (in bikinis under dresses no less), looking frantically around, FOR CANDLES. Haha proudly presenting big and small =x haha managed to get the candles which we concealed in ample cleavage *coughcough* I bought jas a nice oreo cheesecake at starbucks and attempted the hilarious sticking of 20 candles into one slice of cake. Haha it turned out FINE, just so u know. BUT. Mel being mel who so cannot count. I just realized (after counting off pictures on facebook) that there were only 19 candles!! Shit. Jas we’ll light one more for u soon!! Haha. After that jasmine left and small and I shopped around vivo before going off to the east!! Haha went to FORT ROAD. Where I relived the days I stalked X along the long walk to 196 bus stop =D those were the days… then I remembered the times with Y and Z spent at marine parade library! Went there to get in touch with my more intellectual half as I waited for my ride from e class guys. Haha.. headed off to Jevon Babypowder’s birthday party at east coast park after that. Good to see the class again! And ESPECIALLY wonderful to see ah gong =D goodness its been how bloody many years. Ugh. Im the neglected friend after the girlfriend came into the picture!!! *sobs. The hurt……. WAILS* haha =) had a nice long talk with him which got me all emo and thinking. Yes I agree. I have way too many guys in my life for my own good. Sometimes I do wonder what its like to be a normal person with a normal number of people walking in and out of her life. Then u’d get a nice number of deep footprints and not a smooth beach with barely any that leave strong impressions. Then again I’m young and ure only young ONCE. There’s nothing wrong with having a ball of fun and living. But AH GONG. Thanks. Thanks so so much. Cant wait to meet u again, bring ur girl this time yea! Got to know this guy at the party who’s confirmed my belief on CJ people! Haha see, after zhong and muddy, I’m convinced that the F word is a vital part of their dictionary. Any less than 4 uses of THE word renders you not truly CJ output. Zhong Mudds and co. are living proof of this. After Vincent, I rest my case.

Sunday was much ________ eventful. Less or more I’m not sure. Its very much private so minimum disclosure here. But I thank you, my best friend. For being there for me all the time. Even though we’re over, its cool that we still turn to each other and we’re a form of support for each other. Without your ________ that afternoon I’d have crumbled. So we obviously don’t have a love that lasts a lifetime. I have a friend who will.

I’ve started work =) internship at The Ascott Group (read: as-kert). NOT Escort. Common mistake I get a lot these days. The week started out really slack. All I did was just go online to hunt for numbers of certain certain people, like Elim Chew and MacDonald’s Managing Director. But e bomb fell on Tuesday… … I was suddenly assigned the impossible task of getting ____ done. E norm is for 4 people to work on this for 15 weeks. This time its one Mel and 8 weeks to get the same thing done. Been stressing my brains out over this. However, I’m really determined to make sure I don’t screw this up and I do a more than brilliant job at it! Besides this, piles of stuff have been coming up upon me. Simple stuff like “find out how long it takes to get me from Singapore to Paris” to bigger stuff… but I’m not complaining. In this one week I feel like I’ve really learnt a lot.

I’m doing this internship in Corporate Communications, which is essentially the PR of the company. We’re in charge of attracting and influencing the media to write great stuff about us =) its pretty interesting watching and learning what to do and use to get the job done! Been making lots of phone calls and learning what to say what not to, when to, and the lot…

I read the book The Pact by Jodi Picult (pardon me if I misspell her name) recently. Its not particularly engaging if ure looking at its content really, but the way it was written was what kept me going till the wee hours of the morn. I liked the way the author weaved the past and the present chapter by chapter. Its challenging since some ay its hard to keep two stories in your head at once, but that was the idea I particularly liked. The story talked about love, and loss. About how a young 17 year old boy shot his beloved to death. He claimed she longed to die, and as time passed, how she only became happy when she discussed her inevitable death, by choice. It looked at love in an unconventional way and it dealt with the phase of adolescence we know so well about and adults look at with such reproach. It set me thinking about many things. Many things I’ve chosen, whether or not they were for the better.

As you can tell there really isn’t that much to do now at work, since I’m free to the extent that I sit here updating my blog on Microsoft Word before copying and pasting it onto the blog, lest my boss walks past and catches me idling away on blogger.

Okay marketing communications just assigned me a task. Time to get busy.

Till next time =)