1 yr younger + 1 yr poly + 1 yr repeating sem

= 3 yrs later than my batch of guys to go army

= he'll be going in after i graduate

= working gf army bf?

how is it going to work out.

my pathetic math skills only realised NOW.

depressed.

mayb thats y they were put together for awhile.

counting it, they'd be perfect. bloody 1989 retainees.

:'(

HELLO

i feel guilty not updatin a shit when all e NUS ppl who still havetheir exams are updating, namely my dearest sisters tan. btw i miss you guys. even more than i miss franny baby. whom i also miss alot cos he is totally retarded and army isnt helping one bit. haha

im suffering from post exam depression (at this point of time. i am sure nus and smu ppl wana kill me) the suddenly lack o mugging is making me moody and im feelin pretty empty thou my schedule's full and ive something to really look forward to everyday till about a week + from now. didi says this is a typical mel reaction to after exams, happened after e Os an As too! only i didnt know.haha how silly of me really. i even went to e lib to get some story books but it doesnt work! thinking of starting next sem's studying =/ haha

today, i went to vivo with ezen and cheemin. our beloved xiangting, taking her royal time, was 2 hours late!!! its okay. royalty ma!! haha we shoped and kept eating and sat around watching the sea (so they say), watching construction work (mel thinks). sat ther listenin to music and havin e wind blow against us till e sunset =) then we went to play POOL. omg damn lousy ezen n chee vs mel n xt. first to winning 3 games! haha omg. they won 3-2 BUT! 2 outta 3 of their wins were CHEAPSKATE (i dont mean to insult u small). they only won cos xt popped e black, twice. CHEH. so technically, e girls won=) what kinda guys lose girls in pool!? haha

okay my life is so boring i've nothing much to say now. haha i wana watch nice dramas. any recommendations? haha i dont want winter sonata/stairway to heaven type please. thoese bore e shit outta me. i rememebr in sec 1.. me n phoebe attempted winterS. we BOTH fell asleep in e first episode, until her mom came back hours later to find to sleeping pigs and a runnin dvd player =/ haha

u know, even though i basically can start talking and chatting with practically anyone. there are a select few (extremely extremely few), i just cannot clique really well with. meaning we like each other perfectly fine, no bad feelings and all. but words just dont flow..usually it doesnt matter to me at all.no biggie u see. i gel with at least a hundred for each of them there are. BUT. its quite a pity. that ____ happens to be one of them. it suddenly dawned up me. how we can start talkin, but hardly much. it alwys pauses and ends. really it does. its such a pity. could be cos its something ive wanted for so many years. now that i have the chance im speechless (mel speechless? ok mayb not.) but still. i find myself trying again and again to make it start another day. mapping out plans and all that nonsense. i've realised i have to try to not think about _____ and how much he charms me. cos its nothing more than a fantasy thats too far away. its just not happening, like fetch (mean girl?). like how ive stopped using juzadream. this is just a dream. its just a dream. he's just a dream. and i've woken up. its time to delete the tab to his friendster in my favourites. time to have one last cry and let it go. ive never smiled and felt the way he made me feel, even years after. but it really is just my wishful thinking. and mel is not used to not getting what she wants. goodbye fantasy. really.

hello!

i should be studying. i know i should. this is why i didnt want to come home!

haha its 6.50pm. and i just woke up. hahahaha im a pig right. i swear its e air con and e soft everything! it does things to youu! and now there's no more sunlight and im moody. i swear im retarded haha. but i want my sunlight

exams have gone really well so far. ive never really felt this good after half my exam before. BUT e pessimistic part o me says that everyone prob thought it was easy TOO. so if they all do damn well. by the norm, i will be PUSHED to e bottom of the friggin bell and get B :'( i donttt wannntttt a BBBBBBBBB.

been feeling kinda odd recently. like not really talking much with the girls/guys i used to talk to alot or hang out with alot due to e exam things. all smses i get now are like
"mel! how were ur exams?!"
"mel! mug together?"
i suppose its a MUST for now but i just miss everyone.

was having a more serious conversation with muddy. in case anyone wonders its NOT going to be anything but pure pure friendship w muddy. ahaha and we were talkin about whether a platonic relationship between friends is possible. i think so. and i would like it to be so with quite a few others. dont do something stupid. dont try anything dumb. i like the friend friend relationship we have now. let it remain this way.

OMG OMG OMG SMINT IS COMING HOME IN 30min! i so cannot wait. SMINT I KNOW U READ THIS. i have been looking forward ALL day. even though i was asleep! i announced ur arriving to didi liike a million tiemss. ahhh i miss you! WOOHOO~ yayyy~ haha

hellO!

i've e new phonee. yay =D my daddy's really e bestest daddy in e world! he came home from brunei and bought me a dive computer cos he's so damn worried i'll hurt myself during the dive trip with the school next year. hah after that we went to buy a new phone for me =) wanted the pretty sony erricson S500i or W580i! but it was totally out of stock island wideee! woahh! super sellable la. haha in e end i bought a samsung!! rarr i dno how to paste it but its e U70o or 12.1 from the ultra edition, the slide one wiht a mirror front. everyone tells me its a pretty phone suitable for the vain pot i am BUT u know its like not first choice and i dont like being 2nd best. rarrr.

anyway back to the nicest daddy in e world part, see e stupid starhub chap couldnt help me copy my contacts SO he suggested i go home and MANUALLY type every single contact into my phone. i was like raelly WTF. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. but i did anyway. or rather my nice daddy did. all i did was read him the names and numbers and he just tyed away. so nice right!!we sat ther for 2 hours doing this. ahah at the end he declared that i just have too many friends and we should just delete everyone. haha. nooo!!

so after that we drove all e way back to the shop again to get my damn phone. haha got it! then i went home to find a way of gettin all my contacts back into the new phone. damn. suddenly u feel as if 800 contacts is way too many. e idiot wanted me to manually type them all in. er. NO. haha ddaddy helped me install something and spent another 1 hr++++ getin it to work and helping me copy all my contacts from the pc into my neww phone. i picked about 700 people to put in only thou. so e 100 that ive missed :/ sorry.

anyway as i was going through the list of numbers. i realised some things.

1. SMALL HAS 4 NUMBERS. why ah?! ahaha

2. There are quite a number of people i havent talked to in ages.

these are e people who meant a great deal a long time ago, eg. yong jun? samantha? cavell? cindy? erwin? jeremy? haha from a long long time ago when we were very close. how time flies. i still remember most of their faces. and some of the things we used to do together. some of the trees we used to climb. i suddenly have the urge to message all of these people to tell them HEY i still rememebr you and i suddenly miss you! do u even rememebr me? but, i am so afraid of hearing that i've been forgotten and the memories are merely one sided. rarr x( but i supose i shall pick or choose one or two and send....? *shrugs.

then there are people whom i dont even remember and there are like ALOT of jasmines and yilings and alans and jeremys and jonathons and stuff like that. with each name i look at a different memory hits me (walao i got hit 800+times) some beautiful, some disgusting, some just plain erm...ugh f*ck off.... .... ...... ..... ........................ ..............................................

just now i was looking at this old box i have and i poured e whole chunk of letters i've had from my 3 mths in RJ. how i managed to fill that box in 3 months i still dont know. i read what my classmates, random people, old dunman rafflesians have written and suddenly i realise that whats going on in NTU is nothing compared to what i went through there. the scrutiny and bitchings are so mild here, particularly cos there are so many more people to yak about. haha that might explain my heck-care attitude about these rumours and stuff. cos its like e erm... (pri sch, sec sch, rj, vj...) 5th time im hearing nonsense people fabricate about me. so it doesnt relaly bother me really. its kinda what was easily predicted even before i stepped into the school. haha how i started hooking up males in clubs before the first time i ever clubbed with my lovely sydney gang. how i slept with X no. of guys even though i've yet to try sex. sometimes i wonder where all this creativity came about. silly people. perhaps if all e efforts got dumped into marketing and OB, we might see a great deal of A+s this year on 15 and 22 november.

anyway! the exams are near!! oh my!!! lets all study hard and do well ok? haha all e poor ntu ppl who have exams next week GOOD LUCK. ahahah all e smu and nus chaps still have time to watch movie, play bball, go shopping, and stuff. haha i suppose my turn will come soon. rarrr

ALL THE BEST PEOPLE. get those As =D!

really couldnt find many new pics but this is it so far. haha handsome feminine engine mugger. my pri school senior some more! how small e world is =D

i dont like ____.

hurts

and it make me moody for no reason. its cause every little thing to be blown crazily out of proportion.

when my food doesnt arrive it feels as though the whole world's out to get me and the chicken hates me so it ran away and didnt get cooked.

when i study and get bored i feel like crying cos the book looks too fat to be studied.

when i cannot decide on something it seems as though the world is about to end.

and being afraid of the dark is extra scary when its here.

i feel super tiny and the world feels very big. and cars look scary.

okay i feel like crying now.

oh look what didi sent to cheer me up

i swear my boyfriend is totally retarded.

i hate periods rarrr