didi and i have broken up. after 3 yrs+ its over. this time i think know it really is.

im putting it up here. so i dont have to repeat it to everyone a million times. whoever is reading this may not understand some parts but thats cos ure not meant to. others who are supposed to will.

there is alwys the age and army issue. after calculation. he will enter army AFTER i graduate. so its a working girl and a fresh enlisted boy. how e hell is that gona work out? i dont think i dare wait till then and experience it and end up breaking up from a 6 yr relationship

quarrels. honestly, we quarrel about 3x a week or so. and its been this way for months. any logical couple would understand that CLEARLY, its not really working out. sure we do the whole "last quarrel. no more alr ok :)" but who are we kiddin its been this way for 2 yrs 10 months at least.

breaking up. everytime we quarrel, he goes "okay fine lets just break up" its very hurting, really and its very very sad that he gives up and walks out so easily. of cos after that theres the whole get back tgt cos he didnt mean it. but what if we do get married? get a divore and get back again? i dont want to live life that way.

friends. his friends and i are of a SERIOUSLY different frequency. really. really bad. i cant describe it.

different lifestyles and expectations in life and in the future. he wants a stay home and help with business wife. im not like that. i'll end up being more career minded and spending more time in e office than with him or something along those lines

dying feelings. lack of time. communication. happiness. etc. whenever we see each other we're unhappy. within half an hr sometimes. its so so damn sad. we try to make it work when we meet but it just doesnt. and we're alwys irritated w each other such that its been a long time ive truly felt happy with him

ARMY. do i really really love him enough to go thru 2 yrs w/o him? will i really not meet someone else? will i be able to love him throughout when im working? i dont want to go through the pain of it and realise no. sigh

TOY. its been 2 yrs i know. wtf right, get over it mel. but i cant. its still a big wedge between us. i think of her all the time and i dont trust him the way i used to. he picked her when i trusted him the most and when i least expected it. he went to a new shcool and met new friends. i said it was good to go have fun with his class and make new friends in school so life is interesting. yea he did that. and ran off with the bloody ij girl. e betrayal was. unbearable.

involvements. nuff said.

i know 3 yrs is frigging long at 19. but people change. we were perfect for each other at 16. i swear nothing could have torn us apart. but we grow up sometimes and growing up could mean in different directions. and when there's nothing else to hold on to. mayb its time to let go.

goodbye