st james

woohoo! st james is fun!! yesterday was probably one of the best clubbin times we had. was almost spoiled bcos practically NO WHERE had ladies night. and CHEAPSKATE CLUB PRESIDENT/suay liap/small, quoted, "refuse to pay on a wed" cos its suppose to be freee. so we met at clark quay to go try clinic (not free), and we all know mos (not free), zouk (not free). so cabbed to e only free place - st james power station. haha. we got ripped off by e cabbie seriously. one MRT stop. cost us $6++. how horrid huh. haha wasnt very hopeful about e place from what i heard.

e queue was FRIGGING long. but surprisingly fast. haha they are damn slack. didnt even realy check ic or anything. bouncer didnt look at my face. just e IC.. haha. was quite worried cos e crowd looked lik 23/24 MINIMUM. barely anyone our age.. e one reason small loves st james: on ladies night, girls get FIVE FREE DRINKS. yes FIVE. zouk n mos doesnt offer that! only 1for1.. BUT. the queue to get e free drinks was NUTS. seriously. haha we queued for about an hour for drinks!!

but not too bad. the girls got 2 jugs of alcoholic stuff. POOR ME. they decided i get high too damn easily for my own good. and i get tipsy at e slightest drink. SO. i was restricted to ORANGE JUICE/SODA/ICE WATER. thanks. hahah.. in e end got a corkscrew n an orange and a sprite. haha damn stupid. here are my drinks :)

"just one????"
"ok fine. orange JUICE"

haha went along with e juive n it was surprisingly nice and refreshing after takin 1 corkscrew!

"orange juice aint so bad!" (notice how red i am after ONE corkscrew -_-")
"look at ALL their drinks x( not fair"

e music was good. it wasnt 100% pure hiphop/rnb. it was about 85% that. then u get e random Backstreet Boys - LARGER than life (as usual my b__bs got dragged in...) and some odd older songs which werent too bad and very highness inducing! haha it was quite funny. cos there was this oldish man. lik say 30+? and he was like attempting to dance to e tracks but lik it was so obvious he's never heard anything like that and sexyback just wasnt doing it for him. haha after awhile he gave up bobbing and shook his head while walkin off e floor. haha pretty funny!

went to e toilet w small. disappointing toilet!!! compared to MOS/MoMo's it was pathetic. like some shopping center toilet. now toilets are the place we touch up make up..arrange hair.. get pretty.. CAM WHORE. how can it be eeky!! ugh. but we cam whored all e same. (this MIGHT be obscene/offensive to some. advance with caution)

yeaps. those are toilet pics =D haha.. dont ask whats e first shot. i think small looks sexy in e 2nd one ;) hah not long after she had to go home cos her bloody 12am curfew still on! (it was 2am then... -_-") haha kahei and i decided to stay on since we dont really have a curfew. mine's just kinda like have to be home and its ok.. haha. we danced together but i must admit i feel more vulnerable when e group of girls is smaller! haha more, assessible to odd males (which st james has quite a lot of) haha. got high together and had fun. shant mention e end of the clubbin session but er. yes. haha see ya!

if you ever thought it was hard leaving one person you love, try leaving 39?

i swear e pain nearly killed me.

this morning. HOD of science said she talked to e other HODs and agreed that i could stay in term3 till i went to uni. i was like "yayy. i have a job. i can see my beloved kids." but i didnt FEEL thatttt elated. guess i hadnt realised how much this job meant to me.

my last lesson ended at 10am. (ok typin this, i feel sad all over again but hell.) anyway. after lesson. i said my very last "thank you class" to them, knowing thinking that i would come back. i didnt cry but i did get a little tears in my eyes. they gave me lotsa letters and notes of love and gratitude and sadness and misses. then i released them for recess and went to the staff room. when i came out to join them, valerie suddenly sprinted to me and hugged me and sobbed and sobbed and she kept asking me to stay and telling me she didnt want me to go and that she loved me loads. i started to cry. wondered if i shuold tell them i would come back after all. went to e canteen where my loves waited. they were eating my cookies and tellin me how well i could bake (they can lie pretty well apparently) haha. then i took photo with each of them. they all looked really sad and some were crying. heartbreaking. after that. they queued up in a line and each took turns to hug me for the last time.. i tried to smile even though my eyes were filled with tears. (dont ask why i cried when i thought i was coming back) so i went through e day as normal. till 1pm. after my last lesson...

i went to back up to go off to meet didi. was just preparing to leave e staff room when overall HOD came to me. she told me. that they appreciated my willingness to stay in term 3. but the schoool had adjunct teachers and could not keep me. she explained that MOE paid for adjunct teachers but the school paid for relief teachers. they needed to save money. so their plan was to use the adjunct teachers already in school. meaning they would let whoever was free take my class for whichever periods possible. i cant believe they would do this to my kids. how would you feel if english was taught by 3 different teachers. just cos they "were free". sense of belonging? closeness? nothing.

after i was told i broke down. totally broke down. hurried out of school, tears streaming down, barely breathing. quickly found my way to didi before i collasped. i sobbed and sobbed for a really long time. think it was more painful than some of the break ups ive gone through. i realised i didnt even say goodbye properly bcos i thought i would come back. sure i hugged and kissed and took pictures. but e feeling was wrong. i feel bloody sad now. heart brokened. it wasnt just sad..sad... it really really hurt. heartbreakin kinda hurt. it was only then i realised how much i had grown to love the kids. how much the girls now occupied my thoughts and so much of my everyday life. my days were spent planning lessons for them, activities, etc. now. its empty.

some of the stuff they've said:
"ms tan, how come no body wants us. we all very stupid ah? must be.."
"ms tan, i know we are selfish but can u dont go school (NTU) and stay in marymount."
"ms tan, i am very touched by your words on the card. u make me feel gooder. can u dont go?"
"ms tan, i am home now and i am crying. i miss u so much already. its not fair. why did u have to go..."
"ms tan, :'( im really sad and miserable. like lost already"
"ms tan i feel lik i have no one in the world except mummy. then ms tan came and i had a real friend. and now ure going too. everyone will go away. just like my daddy." (her dad passed away 3 years back)

now u know why im heart brokened... :'(

hello! another boring post im afraid. my week's been pretty dead. filled with nothing but childern's laughter and screaming.

after school today went to didi's house t nap.. barely slept at all b4 he called asking where i was and if i was comfy. hung up and went to sleep. barely fell asleep before my collegue evelyn called asking about some science and keying of marks. haha I SLEPT. then. alarm rang. ugh.... time to shower and go shopping =D haha. halffway through my shower, the phone rang AGAIN. wa im an inch of drownin it now. haha hanbin.

met thaat skinny chap at far east and had dinner at e yummy chicken rice place. pity im sick and i din taste much x( bah. haha attempted to shop for jojo's present after that. haha standard shoppin = didnt buy anything. i think he doesnt get how we can spend almost 2 hours walkin all around w/o finding anything to buy.. haha i found a partner to dislike STRIPES AND DOTS (ahem, small.) haha. checked out many many stores and saw many many things i like! BUT i gave self control a shot and TRIED not to look at stuff for myself. haha. headed off for tuition class after that..

tuition was normal. my stuipid kid still has this thing about not going to people's house because he's shy and uneasy. he's freakkin 15 for ____'s sake. his classmates are already doin so much more AT others' houses ;) so cos of that i may have to stop teaching him once i go to NTU. that fool. makes me $240 short. ugh. hopefully my camellia and oscar and ysanne's classes will turn out well then i will have about $400 plus to spend a month in uni.. haha. kids these days names quite cute huh. saffron, mikila, nikita, ysanne, OSCAR (like the whale?), janella, kirby (think furby, they're lookalikes), sasikala, roxianna, JELLY (yess, like JELLY). and i thought my parents were odd. haha.

ugh i'm sick again. i think its a common teacher thing. when one falls, all fall. cos we're all stuck in the same room with the same air with the same germs goign in circles. so many of us are sick. haha. think i probably passed the stupid virus to hanbin as well. poor fella. just recovered and now he's caught it again. (for ppl who read e private blog entry on shaun, NO i did not...ya) hahah. tml will continue e spread to jean and didi i think. my joggin plan's foiled by the flu.. i dont wana dieeee!

byee

"the case of bastardisation is increasing along with globalisation man." - someone

i agree. things have been said. people have been hurt. its unnecessary and someone deserves to have that useless dick of his chopped for it. i dont get why, after so long, u'd do something like that when from e beginnin she's been nothing but sweet and u've been nothing but a lyin creep.

also, i found out something at jevon's house talkin to someone who's bunkmate of someone who's bf of someone. made me burst out crying cos i felt her pain. another bastard - serial cheater. love is blind i swear. it makes girls believe he will change. cheat once. repent. apparently it doesnt work that way. more like cheat once. forgiven. attempts to repent. heck, cheats again. and again. then cries when he's found out. once again, i swear love is blind.

then, i hear about my friend who's broken up recently. yet mr. (ex)bf of hers still asks her out and insists on meeting up for regular sex. what e heck. what is the world coming too. we all know love and sex are two seperate things in the minds of males, but thats really quite crossing the line i should think.

ugh.

hello.

spent my weekend going from place to place havin fun.. sat started out at cine. suppossedly to kbox. but e guys ended up xbox-ing instead -_-" haha i totally dont get soccer. seriously. sat around talkin to ying at this machine u press e screen. then went for lunch with her. haha as expected. we ended up shopping. cos there was a LIME flee. looking for something nice and cheap to pick up. but there wasnt anything!! UGH. hah i bought 2 bangles in e end. one bright red and one orange. an impulsive buy no doubt that didi could not understand. haha..

after that went to KTV at singtel building. haha i like. especially since there were people with good voices =D haha im talkin abt zhu of course ;) haha. shant go too much. anyway. after that lik 6+ met this model fella kelvin and went to jevon's place with him n jevon. jevon's bday party. ahha so cute huh 19th bday party thingy.. darren. kelvin, me. haha trust me when i say it was ODD. i ended up discussing newspaper articles and modelling with kelvin -_-" haha. was sitting around waiting for more familiar faces to turn up. in end i was saved by JOYCE! my soap-girl. haha spent most of the evening with her. talkin and laughing and stuff. it was enjoyable spendin time with her. she's like the kinda girl u knoow in school and talk to occassionally but never had the time to really sit down and get to know her better. in e end i was too lazy to go home from friggin-other-end-of-the-world Tanah merah and convinced her to stay over too. haha

later on these 3 other girls turned up. i dno what to say about them. i suppose first impression matters and well. yea. hmm. we all went for prata at this seempang place which was bloody far away from his house man (although i seemed to be the only one to think so. ) haha. the 3 headed off after that. sat around in his room talkin to the army guys + vic + howan + zac who were staying. so many people squashed into 2 mattresses and one room. gosh. was worried e whole night that vic would roll of jevon's bed and squash me on the matress (how on earth is the matress/mattress spelt) n worried that prom king's soccer leg would kick me n kill me. haha males. talked to jevon and learnt alot that night ;) alot on opinions and sizzling hot issues. haha good to hear male opinions once in awhile. im glad i went for the stayover. wish i had photos to remember it though..

sun was spent sleeping. then a simple mother's day dinner at the club. went for a 2nd dinner with didi's family at a BBQ. ended up quarreling so badly it practically led to a break up. he concluded that im seriously e kinda person who bolts and gives up e moment i cant do it. relationship fallin apart, break up and leave. studies troubling me, forget e understanding part and bloody eat the text books. everything i do. its e same approach. throw everything into it and pray it cooks well by itself. if it doesnt. hope someone else does it for me. not possible? ok then, byeeee. guess its something i've always known but never dared to face. he really does know me really well. enough to read me inside out. and also to take care of me. now e trick is to stay good to him. haha.

i brought my uncle to sentosa on sunday.

whaha sounds odd doesnt it? well, IT WAS. haha but helps that he's 19 and young and strong (read: carry all the bags) and that is was fully sponsored by my mummy =D

haha so i played tour guide for the day and brought him all the way from lavender to harbour front. conned him into doin shopping with me for about an hour b4 leading him to e sentosa bus. haha..

first stop, underwater world =) i know EVERYONE knows this place. but how many people actually remember what its like to BE in the tunnel. to see fish 4 times ur size. (to see what i get to see whenever i dive basically) haha. i am totally obsessed with jellyfish i realised. they are so the cutest. and like what the hell. im shorter than a dugong.

the funny white thing below is a dugong. which is bloody 1.7m tall :( but FAT and awfully cute. she was swimmin upside down and pretending like she was gonna ram the tunnel. haha so cute.

next stop was e dolphin lagoon =) pink dolphins are the cutest ever! i like pink! and i dont like indian tourists! ugh. indian kids were runnin about in e tunnel spoiling my pedicure! then e grown ups with giagantic bodies were shoving me and pushing past me w/o even sayin a word. AND stupid mothers POPPED their friggin heads into my photos. lik we're takin half way, they dont have e courtesy to let us take a picture first. they have to just butt in so that their heads cover half the screeen. ugh. send them back to india please. haha

as a tourist, how can we not see e musical fountain. for those of u who agree with the musical fountain statement. HA. its time for u to visit sentosa again! its not called musical fountain anymore noobies. its called the SONG OF THE SEA. which is basically good sound and lights/lazer and water effects but lousy storyline. there was this really cool part whereby they used fire puffs. ok that sounds funny but i swear! it was fire! like hot fire u could feel. and it came out like cotton balls. so i thnk its fire puffs. ahha overall it was pretty nice i should say. enjoyed it.

my first time going out with my uncle. haha he says next time round i can go up to KL and he'll take me shopping =D haha im hoping my dad will allow. ugh. there's this bangkok trip some friends are takin but my dad and didi arent allowing me to go x(!!

haha OH YA. mango's having sale. and there's this racer back/tank top in BRIGHT yellow. if anyone see it around. sized XS ($9).. PLEASE PLEASE get it for me first. PLEASEEEEE. i'll pay u back asap. i really want it!!!!!!

anyway i've fallen for an F21 top! i think its so pretty and its in satin. i just love satin/lycra-ish tops. i dno y i hate cotton but i do. this is the top! cute huh. its good cos its shows of what i have and hides what i dont. i'll leave u to figure which part of the torso im referring to. its retailling $48. wondering if i should get it online for about $30+. saw another dress i like too.. ahha was hoping it'd make me taller cos of all e lines! haha hows e top...

ive been super busy this week. mid year papers are supposed to be marked THE DAY of the exam. meaning we stay back till about 4+ earliest to mark the scripts together. whoever thought the DOING of the papers was hard should bloody try the MARKING. god. it will kill u. the number of language errors. and ure lik "OMG SHE COPY WRONG!?!?!". all kinda silly mistakes that make u super gek and feel like killing the girl. thats eng paper. math paper was damn easy to mark for me cos i got the top class and everyone scored an average of 62/70. DAMN good. so its all ticks and no crosses. but i got quite sad marking their papers. cos its like 62/70.... 62... i bet 50% of my girls cant get 62/100 even x( haha susanne said today "small girl dont be sad la. its not you, its THEM" ahah. righttttt -_-" anyway as e retarded hanbin counted for me. ive got about 12 days left. breaks my heart to think about this. twelve. then e numbers shrink so fast till soon im down to 1. then zero. heartbreaking. hai. i've grown so attached to my girls. thnnk its such mel behaviour to grow extremely attached to someone/something in a really short period of time. like how i did with RJ, NETBALL. and how it will never/never did happen with VJ, dance, etc..

im down withn gastric flu and a virus attack. i realise im really becomin teacher like. resting at home now. i CANNOT stop worryin about my kids. are they doing the work assigned? the faster ones, are they revising for tml's quiz? are they behaving? are the naughty ones stressing my cute leader? ahhh! haha im marking compos (which they are failing) now. haha

im probably taking another 3 students from june on. 2 are marymount girls and one's an acs boy.. haha think this will finance my uni's allowance :) dno if i can keep them till e end of e year thou..i dno hwo much to charge pri 4 and pri 6 thou. can ppl give me suggestions of rates, no. of hours, etc? 1 girl's pri 4 eng math sci, pri 4 sci, pri 6 math sci. how much will that earn me? not forgettin i still will keep my sec 3 kid that cant spell "perpenDQlar"

im touched. my kids are sweet. they have my hp no. so they're smsing me to wish me well and sending love and hoping i come back tml. haha so sweet. the smses all came in from 10-10.30 - recess time. how cute indeed :)

i feel so relaxed after losing my dior job. no more ugly faces to put up with. now when i go to lido, i walk as a customer. as if i have a million bucks in my thousand bucks wallet to throw into e bitches' faces. now SERVE ME WELL, before i write a complain letter. shiok. bitches. as my gf said b4. we shdnt be cosmetic girls. we should be studying hard to one day run the company and FIRE the bitchy ones. muahaha! (sense e intense dislike of cosmetic bitches?) haha. e only thing i miss is meeting nice customers that come back after a few days just to "pop by and say hi" or e nicer girls, ie, jingying, joy, alice only. haha limited aye? haha. i also miss ENDLESS supply of FREE make up to play with. hundreds of lippies for me to test all e colours i want for 8 hours. UNLIMITED perfume for me to spray everyday. haha.

anyway. im tryin to decide between a coach or a burberry bag. indecisive me.

i see they both look hedious here. haah the burberry one is shinny and gorgeous in real life. haha. i will NOT be teampted to get both x(. think they're $800++ each. hopin to get them cheaper from e states.~ oh well. see how it goes.